Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Honest Kids?

SO what the hell. Are kids that drink different juice pouches criminals? Did all politicians drink capri-Suns?
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I love how brand names can be so ridiculous. This brand is just attacking anyone that doesn't drink their "eco-friendly" juice. Sure, that's the way to promote your product. Instead of making it taste good, or be cheap, you just make people feel bad about themselves.


Frankly, there is only one kind of juice pouch I drink anymore. Too bad you can't get them in the USA.. Yet.



Ya that's right, Rum in a pouch!

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

chop suey specs

I have seen some pretty sexist and racist toys before, but seriously? What is up with this?
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Monday, December 29, 2008

Those damn cats

I haven't understood the fascination with pictures of cats utilizing a mix of internet jargon, l33t 5p34k, and engrish plaguing the internet. Sure, one out of the 40 pictures is semi amusing. However no page showing humorous pictures is with out a dozen of these pictures with everything possible misspelled. As my homage to this apparent trend, I have too created a cat that speaks.

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Apparently my cat doesn't suffer from downs syndrome.

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Sunday, December 28, 2008

Put a clove of garlic in your ass.

Ever had a hemorrhoid? Ever have the urge to fart and kill vampires? Well apparently this is the home remedy for you! I recently picked up a book with tons of home remedies. All crazy and seemingly disturbing for various illness's. Well I noted that the cure for hemorrhoids was to place a clove of garlic in your bum. I figure the book must be nuts.
5 minutes on google though...
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There you have it. Clear out your blood-free hemorrhoids, and really ensure you can clear a room when you have gas.

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Friday, December 26, 2008

Day after christmas cookies

My family is not at all traditional. We don't follow by all those norms that everyone else does. However, one thing we do follow is not letting food go to waste. We realized today that we had cookie dough in the fridge that we had to make cookies with ASAP. And what kind of cookies did we make?
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A strange family has to make strange cookies too.

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Thursday, December 25, 2008

Christmas

I figured this awesome holiday should be posted with an awesome picture.
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Yep, I did it. I belittled the day where some people believe the savior of the world was magically born to a virgin woman. It's ok though. Since what we as Americans celebrate is nothing more than capitalism at it's finest.

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Google Trends

Google, in it's awesomeness has a lab called "trends". This lab allows you to check out how much different things are searched for over the years, and other interesting statistics. Well, I did a little searching of my own, and have settled what I believe to be an age long debate.

What is cooler? Pirates, or Ninjas?
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Red- Ninjas Blue- Pirates

As shown by the graph, it appears pirates have finally overtaken ninjas.
As you look at the graph you know that ninjas, at first had the upper hand. However in 2005, at the same time the Pastafarian religion, worshiping the flying spaghetti monster was revealed to be the true faith on earth, pirates easily took the lead. Pirates are also known as the followers of Pastafarianism, and therefore, individuals have had to search more heartily on the facts as to how to be the best pirate you can be.

My last bit of research was not out of any religious view, or any other view, I merely wanted to see if people liked cats, or zombies better. And of course, Zombies triumphed over sissy's
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red-Kittens -blue-Zombies

Score one for Pastafarians, and score one for anyone that only likes their kittens in a sack headed for the river.

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

It's been spotted!

Everyone has seen those funny pictures of things from other countries with funny names. funny towns, signs, all that jazz. But, to my surprise, you can actually find some of those things in America! The other day shopping at a local grocery store I stumbled upon what I thought was a venereal disease in a can. Good thing it has some further details as to what it is.

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There it is, in all it's glory. Spotted Dick. I actually contemplated purchasing it, tasting it, and seeing what it had to offer, but I am on a pretty tight budget. Maybe next time.

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Sunday, December 21, 2008

Regi plays fetch

My cat can play fetch

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Remember Remember

Remember Remember The war in Iraq
Our nations illegal preemptive attack
I can think of no reason
why the illegal treason
should ever be forgot

George Bush, George Bush, T'was his intent
to go to war with out congress consent
with young soldiers ready to die
he unleashed hell from the sky
While our nation started to rot
Now were in depression
What a horrible lesson
We should have never invaded Iraq.

Thanks to the nursery rhyme about the gunpowder treason. lets hope we can follow John Lennon and have a merry Christmas, with war over.

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Friday, December 19, 2008

Copy Cats everywhere

Developing a blog is not the easiest thing in the world. To come up with images and stories that are eyecatching and entertaining is pretty difficult. Especially with the nintendo wii, Ipods, and everything else these days.

I stumble the internet a great deal, looking for humorous pictures and stories. Sadly every 3rd picture or story is just a story that someone else had already posted somewhere. People just keep taking others stories or pictures, using them on their site, and hoping the added traffic will give them more revenue. Hasn't anyone ever heard of copyright? I guess not. The idea of an individual owning their own work is now absurd. If I see one more site with the
picture. Sure, it was funny the first, maybe second time I saw it.

third, eighth, and thirtieth? no. Its not funny anymore. STOP REPOSTING OTHER PEOPLES CRAP! arg.

I just wish folks were original.

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The anniversary Potato

My girlfriend and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary this last Friday. Can you believe it! I have been dating a girl for an entire year!

Well she came and visited me and brought me 2 presents. A 28 pack of blue, and a potato.

Now your all wondering why I am so excited about the potato. It's been a running joke with us for a while, and I will have to explain.

When most boyfriends buy something for their girlfriends, they get them a flower. A flower to symbolize their love. It is pretty, it smells nice, and its expensive.

Well, after about 3 days it starts to wilt, then it flat out dies. Who the hell wants to put such a limited use and time line on their love. Sure it may smell great at first, and look pretty, but give it a week. That's exactly how all relationships seem to go. They are all flowers at the beginning, then they rot and smell like shit.

So instead, she got me a potato.

Now a potato, while not as visibly attractive, actually will continue to grow while it's in your possession. Unlike the flower that dies, the potato will grow little eyes, to symbolize how your love for this person will continue to grow. Not only that, but look at all the amazing things you can do with a potato! Don't you want your love to be versatile?
mashed potatoes
french fries
baked potatoes
potato pancakes
potato chips
a battery
remove broken light bulbs from sockets
to grow more potatoes
hash browns
home fries
potato salad
potato bread

and the list goes on.

I want my love to be used for a million reasons, and to continue to grow. So if you really love someone, forgo the flowers, get them a potato.

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