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Really? It says it right there! How can you not spell Xerox. Ya, it might sound like a Z, but it is RIGHT FUCKING THERE!
Sigh, dumb people. What can you do.
In these hard economic times everyone is looking for ways to save money, especially the Republican Party. Cutting anything related to health, education, or other basic needs (While trumping up war spending and corporate/ wealthy subsidies).
Yes, there is a need to be frugal, and trim the fat, but Bruce Caswell, a Republican Senator from Michigan decided to do this in a truly ridiculous way, by punishing foster children.
Foster children in Michigan would use their state-funded clothing allowance only in thrift stores under a plan suggested by State Senator Bruce Caswell.
Caswell says he wants to make sure that state money set aside to buy clothes for foster children and kids of the working poor is actually used for that purpose.
He says they should get “gift cards” to be used only at Salvation Army, Goodwill or other thrift stores.
So now a kid with no family, who has a much lower chance of success, not only can't have their own parents, but they can't have new clothes?
While yes, there should be some caps, a $15 shirt at Target or Walmart or Jc-Penny should be ok over a $40 shirt at American Eagle, saying "You have to use hand me downs" is just a joke.
Caswell defends this by saying “I never had anything new,” “I got all the hand-me-downs. And my dad, he did a lot of shopping at the Salvation Army
Sure, I bet Caswell never got anything new in his life, or his parents paying for him to go through college/ Helping him achieve some wonderful dreams.
This guy is almost as much of a dick as Rick Santorum, which at least due to some help by Dan Savage, got his name a new meaning
Drive your way to herpes in this luxurious vehicle!
Ya, Billy Fuccillo would be yelling and itnerrupting people with how huge this god damn thing grew, right out of my back garden.
And to think, no fertilizer, no hormones or pesticides or nothing. Organic all the way baby!
Going to have a fun time ordering chineese from a place that has too many digits in their phone.
Located across from the Best Western in Penn Yann NY.
Chineese Food Fail.
We all watched a few days ago as the UK goalie let a goal roll by him carelessly, allowing the US to tie the soccer match 1 to 1. Apparently the British can't stop a leak, or an errant ball.
But this faux pas definitely is worse, and more hysterical. Apparently no one working in the TV Industry is smart enough to realize what they are showing on the television, so when Nicaragua and Germany played a match, we ended with the following titles.
Someone probably got fired when they noticed this one. lol.
Thanks to Steph for sending me the photo.
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For some reason all I could think about today was the BP Fiasco in the gulf coast. A ridiculous amount of oil being spewed into the sea, with no clear plan of action to resolve the issue. Partially due to the fact that BP Never came up with any sort of plan, in case this sort of crap happened. It was one of those "Ehh, IF something happens, we might think about it.
Anyways, I figured that the remainder of this week I would put up some comics and things I make about the BP Spill. This idea sparked my mind as I heard some radio shows talking about how oil companies are focusing on renewable energy and alternative energy resources.
Well apparently so is BP
Uploaded with ImageShack.us
2 years ago, they began to come under a lot of pressure regarding their lack of spending on any renewable resources.
Everybody Poops, or so we are told by that quirky little book that instills in youth that, what you are doing is a natural, decent thing, and that other animals, just like humans poop too.
But as humans, we have a bit of a choice. Instead of always going in one corner of the yard, or just free falling it onto freshly washed cars, we have toilets. The best thing, they are EVERYWHERE, so whenever you get the urge, you can usually find one. However, not all toilets are made the same, and below you will find the 5 worst types of places to poop.
#5 Sports arenas' /Stadiums.
Your watching your favorite team whoop ass on another team, drinking some beers, and all of a sudden it hits you, time to unleash hell on the porcelain god. 
#4 Campground bathrooms
Everyone loves to camp, but not everyone is bear-enough to poop in the woods. At all of America's "Modern" Camp grounds, were you can escape the tough city or suburban hassle, and go out to the woods to enjoy your nice RV with satellite and your Wii, they have restrooms. This change of scenery often leads at least someone on the trip to get the shits, and get them bad. 
#3 The Catholic Church.
Pooping in a church has a whole myriad of problems of it own. Pooping if your catholic is; for the most part, forbidden, as Family guy pokes fun
Peter: I'm looking for some toilet training books.
Salesman: We have the popular 'everybody poops", or the less popular 'nobody poops but you'.
Peter: Well, you see, we're catholic...
Salesman: Ah, then you'll want 'you're a naughty, naughty boy, and that's concentrated evil coming out the back of you'.
Secondly, do you really want to poop in God's house? Sure, he can watch you poop at home, but going to the church and doing it is like REALLY Asking god to watch you poo.
#2 Port-A Potty
IF you have ever been to an outside venue, work construction, or pretty much anywhere else where water is not readily available, or has a large need for a lot of toilets, the Port a John is the answer.
Now, whats worse that shitting in a cramped, non flushable excessively smelly and hot box?
Well, Not much. Anyone who has dared to use one, even just to pee, knows that the stench almost knocks you over while standing in line, and just entering the oven requires the strongest of wills. Honestly they should only be used in EXTREME circumstances, and to pull horrible horrible pranks on people
Or even if it is an accident, probably the worst thing that could happen to someone.
And Finally, the worst place you ever want to poop,
#1 The parents house of your date/fiance when you first meet them
Nothing is scary for a guy than having to meet a chicks parents. You never know if the mom is really an eviler Martha Stuart, or the dad's got a shotgun in each room just waiting for you to slip up. As it is your already uptight and nervous, hoping everything that comes out of your mouth is the right thing.
But what about your ass?
Do you really want to take a shit that may possibly stink up their house? You won't be known as "My soon to be son in law" You will be known as "Captain shit pants"
What's even worse, What if you get stuck like the guy from Dumb and Dumber
Harry on the broken toilet
Nothing can be more horrible than that moment there, knowing the only thing you can do is cry.
Chatroulette, a webcam using internet sensation started in 2009 by a 17 year old russian teen has become a web sensation. Random people are randomly connected to someone else connected to the same system with a live video and voice feed *if no voice is available, there is text*.
The premise of the game is modeled after Russian Roulette, and for those of you who aparently have been living in a hole, is to take a revolver, which normally carries 6 bullets each in their own chamber, removing 5, and spinning the chamber, pointing it at ones own head, and pulling the trigger. If you hit a dud spot *1/6*, you are a winner that round. You pass to your left and they either spin *in the pussy version* or keep going with the original spin. Eventually, someone blows their face off. Hooray!! It's like a human Pinata! If you play the non-pussy way, and no one spins it, you may run into the problem where the 6th guy in the group sits there, knowing out of all 6 chambers, the first 5 didn't shoot.
Ya, thats a downer.\
Another great example is explained here Amazing Superpowers webcomic, one of the most hysterical comics EVER created. It makes mine look like shit.
Regardless, I decided to try my hand at this game. Even though I heard htat every third image was a picture of someone stroking their shaft.
So myself, my roomate Mike *aka SkrAppy, AKA Batman* and my significant other Julia decided to take the risk and play. We decided early that for each penis we saw, we would all take a drink.
Little did we know, it would end up haunting us!
Shortly after we started we were pretty well smashed, however we did run into a few great people. A punk rocker from amsterdam, a hot chick from North Carolina, and random other individuals, either first time chatroulette players, or people who just like to see penis.
Most people were a bit confused seeing us all together
Others apparently liked seeing nipples, instead of the mass amounts of penis
And apparnetly, most europeans don't know who "waldo" is, and I am someone else
And other weird assholes think i am a pedo!!!
Honestly, why do I deserve a pedo title!!
and when we got bored, we finally decided to jsut fuck with people. Seeing so much penis made us just want to be dicks too!
So basically, we lost track of the number of dicks we saw after we got drunk *15 minutes or so??* 3 sets of tits, 1 video of people fucking, and a lot of weird assholes..
The creepiest thing?? most the people on this site that are just sitting with their junk out, either are playing with a dwarf, or have some ugly ass looking dicks.
No, I did not examine all of them personally, as a general consensus from the three of us, the penis's all looked a bit fucked up. The chick was the only one who really paid any attention, and she has seen more penises than myself, and, Maybe SkrAppy has.
So if your in for seeing a lot of cock, or just want to waste some time, check it out. And if your penis looks worse than the ones on the site, I feel so bad for you.
Have you ever thought about what it is your eating in that bag of chips, or that coke while your stumbling the internet? Ever thought that it really isn't just potatoes in a bag, and sugar water?
Your really eating a huge conglomeration of chemicals, hormones, and false hope. The bag may say "made with real potatoes" but the genetically altered chemically enhanced potatoes are as close to a real potato, as a dried out apple is. Almost all of the produce your consuming is sprayed over a few dozen times with several different pesticides, hormones and who knows what else. Yet we are worried that the 16 year old at Mcdonalds might have loogied on our burger.
Being an environmentally conscious individual, my brother Chris decided to do something a bit different. He started the groundwork for a community garden in our own little township of Henrietta. With the help of some friends, and the internet, he now has a facebook group with over 60 members, all dedicated to assisting with setting up a sustainable, organic garden.
No pesticides
No Altered veggies.
Just fresh, 100% hard earned deliciousness.
In his feat he wasn't alone. Highmowing Seeds donated 20+ packets of seeds along with the order that was originally placed.
Gro-Moore farms also helped by pretty much donating an acre of land to the cooperative farming effort. Now instead of my back yard being torn completely to shreds, we can use a private plot of land, just off of route 251 and 15 in Rush (A big chunk of the plowed field barely south east of the landing spot). Gro-Moore farms was even generous enough to plow the land for us, to save a large amount of work and effort.
With 100+ seeds starting in my downstairs living room, and countless others preparing seeds and other plants, this garden is looking to take off into a wonderful bliss of delicious organic food. Hopefully as the garden takes off, I will be able to keep up, and other communities may take after this type of garden project.
A healthy life, is a life where everyone wins.
I know what your all thinking, "Omg, that guy has turned his blog into a porn site!"
Yes, I know this may disappoint those who googled "hairy Weiners", that was not in fact my intention. This is all about an odd apparently Russian craze that I figured I had to do, Not just because some Ruskies said it was cool, but what kind of Pastafarian would I be if I didn't check out something created by our noodly master! Now, as a few blogs shared, the Russians developed this as a way to get kids to eat hotdogs and spaghetti. I'm not sure, but don't all kids basically eat hot dogs and spaghetti? Rarely do I ever meat a kid who doesn't eat hot dogs. Hell, Eating hot dogs and a box of mac n cheese is basically every kids upbringing (that is besides fast food and other tv dinners).
So I put it to the test. Since I don't really like hot dogs, I went with the next best thing. Italian Sausage, the spicy variety. I gathered up a bunch of spaghetti strands, broke them all in half, and began piercing the sausage through and through, using roughly 20 strands in total. The result? Basically some porcupine looking weiners.
Beautiful right?
Now, none of the websites I saw had instructions, much less instructions in English, so I figured what the hell. Just toss it in, and cook till the meat has temped, and the spaghetti is done.
So I cooked for probably 15-20 minutes boiling, and the meat, ohh ya, that was done. The spaghetti was why it was in there so long.
Pulled out *ya, I hope that gets a fun google tag* and TaDa! I had my own hairy italian sausages!
They came out a tad bit dry (the sausage) but overall was pretty good. I garnished with a vegetable Alfredo mix, and tada! Delicious!
So have yourself a taste of my hairy weiner. You can use hot dogs, or italian sausages.
So we tend to get this common type of stereotype that Conservative red states don't like taxes, While blue states seem not to mind as much. Blue states want things that the taxes fund, red states are pissed that they have to pay taxes.
So lets break things down here a little bit.
And yes, all of the swing states voted blue *poor new Mexico, why did you have to shame us so*
Of the 32 states that gave more than they recieved, 31 voted Democrat this election. Thats 96%!!!
Of the
So does anyone see an odd characteristic here? Wait what! States that want to have programs that help people, PAY MORE THAN THEY RECEIVE!! And states that want less intervention basically suckle off of the other states?
Only 1 state that voted for McCain actually pays more than it receives in funding, and that is Texas, at a 94 cents to the dollar difference. REALLY!
And if you look at it, The blue states that do receive more than they pay, with the exception of Maine, tend to be in the south.
I Think before we raise taxes at all on a federal level, it would be more appropriate to evenly distribute the wealth fairly, so you get what you pay for. The conservatives largest argument is "WHY SHOULD I PAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE NOT TO WORK"
Well, Why the hell should all of the blue states have to pay for the red states?
It just completely baffles me. Doesn't it baffle you?
Thank God these conservative states know what they are talking about, and our crazy northern liberal Ideas are going to destroy our economy, kill the elderly, and cause young teens to get pregnant!
Be careful everyone, apparently if you whip dogs, it will come back and get you in the eye.
Thats why Animal Cruelty is such a bad thing
Did some Turkey Day ice skating in Conneticut over the break. Pretty interesting since I am too tall lanky and gangly to really ice skate. Two things made it awesome.
1)Little kids all decked out in hockey gear that cried every time they fell (Can't wait to watch them get checked into the glass by the fat 5 year old)
2And the fact that the sign on the glass truly represented what open skate is at a rink.
Flying fucks
You know, those people that have NO CLUE that they are ice skating with 40 other people, so they ignore the cones, the "We skate in a counter clockwise fashion" and pretty much everyone else. So while your going straight, they are turning into you arms flopping about as if they are having a wonderous orgasm on ice.
Bastards.
Everybody farts, it's a fact of life. Except girls, they release rainbows. But farting, or as it is properly refereed to "Flatulence" can lead to an embarrassing situation. After several years of passing gas I have developed a technique that will allow you to leave the uncomfortable bloated realm of holding it in behind, while leaving your pant's dry, and your co-workers and family with out a clue.
Step one Fart Testing
Yes, fart testing. Through out the day you should test your farts. First thing in the morning, right before you get out of your car, and then after any food you consume. By releasing a fart at these times you can test for smell, sound and solidity. (Leaving a wet spot in your trousers is never a good thing) As long as you perform periodic test farts, and they pass the muster, you should be able to let out those silent non-smelly farts whenever you must, with out raising suspicion.
Step Two Noise Concealment
So you have tested your farts and they don't smell, they aren't wet, but they make a little noise. This can be easily taken care of. Don't let pressure build to a point where you may crap yourself, but when you feel one coming, you know will be noisy from your fart test earlier, Drop a large book, Cough, Sneeze or Slam a door. Even pinching a co-worker will work. Not only will they let out a noise to cover it up, but they will be so distracted they won't notice your fart. When was the last time you heard "HEY! You pinched m... did you just fart?"
Step three Smell Concealment
There are several levels of smelly farts. Some you get a quick whiff of something unpleasant. Others linger with that eggy smell for several minutes, and yet others. well.. you should really see a doctor instead of reading an article online if you are having those farts.
There are many ways to cover/eliminate the smell of a wretched anus that are simple and cheap. A good idea is to fart when there is something cooking/near a cafeteria. If someone comments you can chime in "Ya, the food probably won't be too good today" Patchouli oil can work wonders also, not only will it cover the smell, but most people will try to stay away from you for the scent of that alone, making the fart almost impossible to tell. And lastly, Blaming. While the dog can be a great thing to blame, the dog usually isn't in your office with your boss and a co-worker. If you make the move before the smell hits anyone, your pretty set.
In a group of 3+ attempt to let out farts when individuals sit down, stand up, bend or lean. Then immediately look and go "ohh man, you really shouldn't have done that out here" However be aware. If you are often the one heard saying things like that, people may catch on.
The Final Solution Leaving the scene
Sometimes a fart either will not be able to be held in, or is so horrible there is nothing you can do but put on a mask and pray. To eliminate the possibility of losing a job, you can always use one of these escape methods.
Excuse yourself to the bathroom- While better than farting on someone, they will probably get the hint that something is afoul
Exclaim "Is that the icecream man?" and start running- While this may not work in a high rise, it may get you out of a sticky (literally) situation.
Letting it out- Although this isn't recommended for anyone that wants to keep their job, there is sometimes that guilty pleasure of watching a dozen people gag and nearly vomit to something that came out of you (that is unless you have truly ugly children)
So there you have it. The art of farting. Use it wisely, and just in case, always carry an extra change of knickers.
~Waldo~
About 4 years ago I was unable to continue to afford the local newspaper, the Democrat and Chronicle. Didn't matter much since I received 5x's more news, better updated, and with crazy awesome color pictures online free. Well after a 5 hour wait at Midas to have them fix a one hour long problem, I actually read a newspaper kicking around the office.
Leave it to a journalism major to forget the difference between hurricanes, and tornado's. Fail.
I am used to watching the USA Today have tons of spelling and grammatical errors online, never the Democrat and Chronicle. No wonder I was able to be a writer for the D&C back when I was 17. They will hire anyone!
So a good deal of people seemed to like my first funny captcha post about Ceasars erection
Yes, that was a pretty hysterical captcha. But I found another Funny Captcha the other day while trying to help my brother get a job babysitting on craigslist. Now, it's not as clever as the first one, But honestly WTF?
I find the weirdest captchas, "are urethra" What in the hell is that supposed to be talking about? You would think that before they publish the captcha dictionaries, they filter out a handful of words that might turn out inappropriate. I am surprised I haven't gotten "puppy boner" or "Touch breasts" yet.
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending the Rochester Lilac Festival, a yearly tradition that has tons of great vendors, occasional good music, and of course, lilacs. Well this year was no different, and with a few beers in a red cup I wandered the pouring rain with some friends and saw what the shops and vendors had to offer. You could buy anything from Artichoke French, to Wax Hands, or even Lawn ornaments made of recycled garbage. Some pretty cool stuff. And as always there are other booths that don't sell an actual product or service, but an Idea. Radio stations, the "Recycle or you kill the planet" van, and the "Hey, come shoot people in a foreign land and get paid to go to college!"
One tent however really caught my eye.
Yes, apparently to be a member of the republican party you now have to be a midget! Sure, you might be white. SURE you might have a lot of money. You have a strange fear of gays, blacks, and anyone different from you. You believe in lowering taxes, for the rich, and the poor. Cutting those communistic things like Healthcare, and Education. And now, you have to be under 5 feet tall.
What group of people has the GOP NOT alienated?
If only he had a nascar shirt on.
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