College is a mixing pot of people. You have all ages, races, genders, and usually a good distribution of wealth from their parents. You have the poor kids and the rich kids, all living and studying together. And of course, the biggest problem anyone has with anyone on a college campus, Not the color of their skin, or the way they dress, but if you call it Soda, or Pop. (Btw, it is Soda, Pop is a name for your grandpa, the guy on the rice krispies box, and what happens to a balloon, or the American economy when there is a prick.)
Some kids end up changing their mannerisms to fit their grouping of friends. They then go back home, say Soda, and the lynch mob comes after them. Besides the soda pop scandal, I have noted a different kind of phrase evolution. The adoption of phrases for description.
Recently one of our brothers began saying "thats diesel" and "Look at that diesel blunt". Well now the word "diesel" is a common adjective in the Row house. I myself have gotten a few followers with my saying of "Fuck that game", although I believe I may have picked it up from Shakedown. I am unsure, one of us picked it up from the other.
I find "Fuck that game" to be a great thing to say when you don't want to do something. Fuck that game comes in handy all over the college campus. When someone steals my seat and the only cushion left is the piss cushion, I say "fuck that game" and throw someone out of a chair.
I thought about doing more homework, Fuck that game.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Phrase Evolution
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Alfred Squares goes off great
Over the summer I met with school officials, as well as my Greek Senate Exec board a few times to discuss events to do this semester. One of the things I came up with was called "Alfred Squares" a knock off of Hollywood squares. We put professors and staff in the squares, and had sororities vs fraternities.
Well let me tell you, the game went off hysterically! For the first try, and being at the rain location, it worked out pretty amazingly. Tons of questions were answered with hysterical remarks, and the crowd went wild. We played a total of 7 matches, which resulted in the sororities winning 4/7. Sadly we couldn't win, even with some easy choices.
I am pretty proud of everyone to get this event off so well, I was happy, and I think the administration and faculty enjoyed it too. If it had been outside I bet it would have been 10x's better, with a bigger showing, but we tried, and still had a great time. Now that everything is already built for it, Hopefully we can do it each year. I know the competitors were having a blast, so hopefully next year we get a more fierce competition to be a square member.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Beer Beer the magical fruit
People often are heard singing that interesting song
Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So let's eat beans for every meal!
Although I prefer this version myself
Beans, beans, good for your heart,
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the more you eat,
The more you sit on the toilet seat!
Anyways, I came to the realization that, while beans may make you gassy, Beer, and in large quantities, can accomplish the same thing. As a college student I often experience the joy of alcohol, and it usually comes in carbonated can form. And living with 5 other Fraternity guys, we all obviously have a good time. Well, it turns out that sometimes it becomes unbearable.
Anyone living on a college campus already knows, if you eat the food, you will get gas. Combine that with beer and your in for one hell of a raunchy undies-staining surprise. So in commemoration of the effects that beer has on your colon, I decided to write my own little version
Beer beer the magical drink
the more you sip the more you stink
The more you stink, the faster you pound
So let one rip and buy the next round!
Boy, being an alchy sure is fun.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Quote of the Day
A bit tired today from a long and amazing weekend, so today will merely be a quote.
I am a student Employee at Friendlys, so I often get dumb questions
Me: Hello sir, what can I get you today
Customer: Hmm, I'm not sure, What count as meals?
Me: Anything listed as "Meal deals". The soups are listed here (points to sign) and I am sorry but we do not have a #6
Customer: Ok, can I get chicken tenders and fries
Me: Off of Dining dollars, or CSA?
Customer: as a meal
Me: No, we only have those options for meals.
Customer: well that's dumb, Let me have an order of Cheese sticks
Me: your aware that's not a meal right?
Customer: Why not?
Me: ugh, ok look. This panel here are the ONLY THINGS you can order as a meal. NOTHING ELSE CAN BE A MEAL
Customer: Ohh, well I will have a #6 then
Me: I'm sorry, are you going to college? there is a huge sign eye level that says NO # 6, and I already told you that
Customer: But you said that anything listed up there was a meal
Me: Im going to go in the back, you can wait for someone that deals with morons to come help you
I proceeded to go back to the kitchen and stand around not doing any work for 6 minutes as another person attempted to help the customer. He eventually got a Cheesburger meal, complained how the service sucked, and left.
I fucking HATE people
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Student Workers: can you get any dumber?
For 3 and a half years I have worked on campus at a fast food version of Friendlys. We do cheeseburgers, hot dogs, a few wraps, and French fries and shit. Basic mcdonalds menu right? Working there is a piece of cake. After 15 minutes of training I learned how to do everything. 99% of it is common sense anyways. Deep fry the Fries, until they are golden brown. Cook the hamburger till it is not pink. etc. Easy easy things.
Well aparently having common sense, or possessing basic reasoning skills is NOT always associated with college students. I find this pretty hard to believe. You may be going to become a nurse, a architect, or a computer technician, yet you can't deep fry French fries? You can't ladle soup into a cup? If you perform this bad at simple tasks, it just makes me think that you would be the worst nurse/architect/computer tech ever. Honestly! How dumb can you be?
Luckily out of the dozen or so people I work with, 90% are either return students, or freshman that caught on quick.But there is still that lazy asshole that doesn't know how to do shit. Some days I just want to strangle them and deep fry their face. I understand if the kitchen is REALLY busy, and there is only 1 person there doing tons of orders, if you mess stuff up, or burn some fries. That doesn't happen! there are like 5 people in a kitchen that only needs 2-3, there are NO customers half the time, and you STILL burn them. FUCK!
Thank god with Mcdonalds fries they actually are self measuring, and cooking. You just push a button. If the kid fucks that up, he should just eat a bottle of aspirin.
Monday, August 25, 2008
The Text Book Scam: How publishers/colleges shake your pockets.
Anyone who has attended a college in the last few years has learned 3 basic things.
1- Your going to shit your brains out, or be unable to shit for weeks, due to campus food.
2- the toilet paper will most likely cut your ass, more than wiping with a pine cone.
3- Books at the campus store, and in general, are a rip off.
No way! Colleges and publishers, with the goal of educating the youth, would not needlessly be trying to gouge profits out of already struggling college students. That would be irresponsible! Yet, that is the cold hard truth. Each year it is estimated that American students spend $900 on books a year! That is in addition to the already outrageous price for education.
But why is it $900! Aren't there used books? While there are occasionally a few, there are 2 major problems with the used book system. 1, the bookstore that buys back used books, regardless of the flawless condition, rarely pays out 1/2 the original cost of the book. That makes it almost worthless to return, since you may at some point need it in the future. The 2nd is the fact that every few years there is a new edition that each professor wants to use, making the old editions aparently obsolete.
Wait a minute. How does that make any sense! A new edition of a book is generally the re-organization of the book to make it easier to understand, as well as correcting the countless grammatical, technical, and factual errors that were originally included. Thats strange, almost anything else you buy that is defective, you get a FULL REFUND for. If you bought a car that had incorrect fuel readings, and displayed the wrong speeds would be fixed at no cost to the consumer. However with Books, you are paying for the mistakes. In stead of being able to use your roomates book from last semester, with those dozen mistakes, and some awkward arrangement of details, you have to spend anywhere from $100-$200, for a simple book!
Currently I am taking Legal Environment in Business. The new book costs $197 online ($225 at the book store aparently). The old book (last years edition, in almost perfect condition) $47, with shipping and handling. How is that remotely fair, or legal!
I can understand the need to update books occasionally. After 5-10 years, facts and information may change. They need to be updated. However being updated in 01, 03, 05, 07 and 08? It seems a bit much don't you think?
So I said fuck the system. I explained to my professor that I would purchase the old copy, and just deal with the errors, and the sometimes strange organization. Sure, this will mean that all my homework assignments will have 1-2 questions from the wrong chapter, and be missing 1-2. But thats ok. If I get all the rest right I would still get a 90, which is an A.
So fuck the book business.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Quote of the Day
All one of you that actively have read my previous blogs and information would know I often do a "quote of the day" when something witty and amazing occurs, and I am present. Well of course, another amazing thing recently happened.
Were sitting in Gojo's room playing some euchre, and we had been making fun of him ALLL night. He is a big bear looking dude, so we always make odd comments and shit, about him being a bear.
Well I move my chair some so I can put my beer in a better spot and i tip over his work boots. They stunk like ass. so I was like "dude, did you shit in your boots?"
Napoleon, with out even pausing is like "he probably shits in them because it's a lot closer than walking to the woods." I just burst out laughing, uncontrollably.
And then it got better. In several Waldo books there is the evil waldo called "odlaw" he wears yellow and black stripes, and he has a moustache. Well were driving to the store to get more beer and we see this asian guy wearing the get up, with a little moustache. With out hesitating napoleon again is like. Hey rook, its odraw! Raugh out Roud funny!
Man is he just fucking hysterical.
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