A day in the Life of Waldo

Zerox machine fail!

2011-10-10T17:09:00.000-04:00

Really? It says it right there! How can you not spell Xerox. Ya, it might sound like a Z, but it is RIGHT FUCKING THERE!Sigh, dumb people. What can you do.

Bruce Caswell: One of the newest republican dipshits

2011-04-26T19:08:00.000-04:00

In these hard economic times everyone is looking for ways to save money, especially the Republican Party. Cutting anything related to health, education, or other basic needs (While trumping up war spending and corporate/ wealthy subsidies).
Yes, there is a need to be frugal, and trim the fat, but Bruce Caswell, a Republican Senator from Michigan decided to do this in a truly ridiculous way, by punishing foster children.

Foster children in Michigan would use their state-funded clothing allowance only in thrift stores under a plan suggested by State Senator Bruce Caswell.

Caswell says he wants to make sure that state money set aside to buy clothes for foster children and kids of the working poor is actually used for that purpose.

He says they should get “gift cards” to be used only at Salvation Army, Goodwill or other thrift stores.

So now a kid with no family, who has a much lower chance of success, not only can't have their own parents, but they can't have new clothes?

While yes, there should be some caps, a $15 shirt at Target or Walmart or Jc-Penny should be ok over a $40 shirt at American Eagle, saying "You have to use hand me downs" is just a joke.

Caswell defends this by saying “I never had anything new,” “I got all the hand-me-downs. And my dad, he did a lot of shopping at the Salvation Army

Sure, I bet Caswell never got anything new in his life, or his parents paying for him to go through college/ Helping him achieve some wonderful dreams.

This guy is almost as much of a dick as Rick Santorum, which at least due to some help by Dan Savage, got his name a new meaning

STD Cars

2011-01-30T15:40:00.000-05:00

Drive your way to herpes in this luxurious vehicle!

Really fucking huge radish

2010-09-18T12:19:00.000-04:00

Ya, Billy Fuccillo would be yelling and itnerrupting people with how huge this god damn thing grew, right out of my back garden.
And to think, no fertilizer, no hormones or pesticides or nothing. Organic all the way baby!

Chineese restuarant fail

2010-08-22T19:56:00.002-04:00

Going to have a fun time ordering chineese from a place that has too many digits in their phone.

Located across from the Best Western in Penn Yann NY.
Chineese Food Fail.

Fifa cup scoring mishap

2010-06-20T10:50:00.000-04:00

We all watched a few days ago as the UK goalie let a goal roll by him carelessly, allowing the US to tie the soccer match 1 to 1. Apparently the British can't stop a leak, or an errant ball.

But this faux pas definitely is worse, and more hysterical. Apparently no one working in the TV Industry is smart enough to realize what they are showing on the television, so when Nicaragua and Germany played a match, we ended with the following titles.

Someone probably got fired when they noticed this one. lol.
Thanks to Steph for sending me the photo.

.

BP: Your doing it wrong

2010-06-09T17:59:00.000-04:00

For some reason all I could think about today was the BP Fiasco in the gulf coast. A ridiculous amount of oil being spewed into the sea, with no clear plan of action to resolve the issue. Partially due to the fact that BP Never came up with any sort of plan, in case this sort of crap happened. It was one of those "Ehh, IF something happens, we might think about it.

Anyways, I figured that the remainder of this week I would put up some comics and things I make about the BP Spill. This idea sparked my mind as I heard some radio shows talking about how oil companies are focusing on renewable energy and alternative energy resources.

Well apparently so is BP

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2 years ago, they began to come under a lot of pressure regarding their lack of spending on any renewable resources.
Sadly, that hasn't changed much. It looks as if BP will be spending more money cleaning up this disaster, than on all of it's alternative energy research in the last 5 years. Way to go BP!

The last 5 places you ever want to poop

2010-05-26T17:54:00.003-04:00

Everybody Poops, or so we are told by that quirky little book that instills in youth that, what you are doing is a natural, decent thing, and that other animals, just like humans poop too.

But as humans, we have a bit of a choice. Instead of always going in one corner of the yard, or just free falling it onto freshly washed cars, we have toilets. The best thing, they are EVERYWHERE, so whenever you get the urge, you can usually find one. However, not all toilets are made the same, and below you will find the 5 worst types of places to poop.

#5 Sports arenas' /Stadiums.
Your watching your favorite team whoop ass on another team, drinking some beers, and all of a sudden it hits you, time to unleash hell on the porcelain god.
Now, anyone who has ever been to a large sporting event knows that the bathroom lines are ridiculously long. Not only are you waiting forever to let loose, but by the time you get there you realize the paper was gone after the 1st quarter, and the fans are drunk enough now that urine can go anywhere. Floor, seat, wall, the last few shreds of paper left. Sometimes you even catch the person pooping in the trough, since the lines for the stalls are usualyl 2x's as long.

#4 Campground bathrooms
Everyone loves to camp, but not everyone is bear-enough to poop in the woods. At all of America's "Modern" Camp grounds, were you can escape the tough city or suburban hassle, and go out to the woods to enjoy your nice RV with satellite and your Wii, they have restrooms. This change of scenery often leads at least someone on the trip to get the shits, and get them bad.
The only problem is, these restrooms are usually a septic system. Having 1/3 of all feces in there being primarily filled with beer-shits, definitely doesn't help. The smell is horrible, and usually, some of the critters get in. So as your sitting on the throne you may see a giant moth chilling in the corner, reach in for some paper and find that Charlette has a web there, and then turn on the water to find that its just as brown as the toilet water due to the well water. They usually even come with showers, which never drain properly and have that moldy mildew smell. Yum!

#3 The Catholic Church.
Pooping in a church has a whole myriad of problems of it own. Pooping if your catholic is; for the most part, forbidden, as Family guy pokes fun
Peter: I'm looking for some toilet training books.
Salesman: We have the popular 'everybody poops", or the less popular 'nobody poops but you'.
Peter: Well, you see, we're catholic...
Salesman: Ah, then you'll want 'you're a naughty, naughty boy, and that's concentrated evil coming out the back of you'.

Secondly, do you really want to poop in God's house? Sure, he can watch you poop at home, but going to the church and doing it is like REALLY Asking god to watch you poo.

#2 Port-A Potty
IF you have ever been to an outside venue, work construction, or pretty much anywhere else where water is not readily available, or has a large need for a lot of toilets, the Port a John is the answer.

Now, whats worse that shitting in a cramped, non flushable excessively smelly and hot box?
Well, Not much. Anyone who has dared to use one, even just to pee, knows that the stench almost knocks you over while standing in line, and just entering the oven requires the strongest of wills. Honestly they should only be used in EXTREME circumstances, and to pull horrible horrible pranks on people

Or even if it is an accident, probably the worst thing that could happen to someone.

And Finally, the worst place you ever want to poop,
#1 The parents house of your date/fiance when you first meet them

Nothing is scary for a guy than having to meet a chicks parents. You never know if the mom is really an eviler Martha Stuart, or the dad's got a shotgun in each room just waiting for you to slip up. As it is your already uptight and nervous, hoping everything that comes out of your mouth is the right thing.
But what about your ass?
Do you really want to take a shit that may possibly stink up their house? You won't be known as "My soon to be son in law" You will be known as "Captain shit pants"
What's even worse, What if you get stuck like the guy from Dumb and Dumber
Harry on the broken toilet

Nothing can be more horrible than that moment there, knowing the only thing you can do is cry.

Chatroulette: Why It makes me feel good about my Penis

2010-05-21T20:34:00.001-04:00

Chatroulette, a webcam using internet sensation started in 2009 by a 17 year old russian teen has become a web sensation. Random people are randomly connected to someone else connected to the same system with a live video and voice feed *if no voice is available, there is text*.
The premise of the game is modeled after Russian Roulette, and for those of you who aparently have been living in a hole, is to take a revolver, which normally carries 6 bullets each in their own chamber, removing 5, and spinning the chamber, pointing it at ones own head, and pulling the trigger. If you hit a dud spot *1/6*, you are a winner that round. You pass to your left and they either spin *in the pussy version* or keep going with the original spin. Eventually, someone blows their face off. Hooray!! It's like a human Pinata! If you play the non-pussy way, and no one spins it, you may run into the problem where the 6th guy in the group sits there, knowing out of all 6 chambers, the first 5 didn't shoot.
Ya, thats a downer.\
Another great example is explained here Amazing Superpowers webcomic, one of the most hysterical comics EVER created. It makes mine look like shit.

Regardless, I decided to try my hand at this game. Even though I heard htat every third image was a picture of someone stroking their shaft.
So myself, my roomate Mike *aka SkrAppy, AKA Batman* and my significant other Julia decided to take the risk and play. We decided early that for each penis we saw, we would all take a drink.

Little did we know, it would end up haunting us!

Shortly after we started we were pretty well smashed, however we did run into a few great people. A punk rocker from amsterdam, a hot chick from North Carolina, and random other individuals, either first time chatroulette players, or people who just like to see penis.

Most people were a bit confused seeing us all together

Others apparently liked seeing nipples, instead of the mass amounts of penis

And apparnetly, most europeans don't know who "waldo" is, and I am someone else

And other weird assholes think i am a pedo!!!

Honestly, why do I deserve a pedo title!!

and when we got bored, we finally decided to jsut fuck with people. Seeing so much penis made us just want to be dicks too!

So basically, we lost track of the number of dicks we saw after we got drunk *15 minutes or so??* 3 sets of tits, 1 video of people fucking, and a lot of weird assholes..

The creepiest thing?? most the people on this site that are just sitting with their junk out, either are playing with a dwarf, or have some ugly ass looking dicks.
No, I did not examine all of them personally, as a general consensus from the three of us, the penis's all looked a bit fucked up. The chick was the only one who really paid any attention, and she has seen more penises than myself, and, Maybe SkrAppy has.

So if your in for seeing a lot of cock, or just want to waste some time, check it out. And if your penis looks worse than the ones on the site, I feel so bad for you.

Rush Henrietta Community Garden: An organic outreach for sustainability

2010-05-12T19:43:00.004-04:00

Have you ever thought about what it is your eating in that bag of chips, or that coke while your stumbling the internet? Ever thought that it really isn't just potatoes in a bag, and sugar water?
Your really eating a huge conglomeration of chemicals, hormones, and false hope. The bag may say "made with real potatoes" but the genetically altered chemically enhanced potatoes are as close to a real potato, as a dried out apple is. Almost all of the produce your consuming is sprayed over a few dozen times with several different pesticides, hormones and who knows what else. Yet we are worried that the 16 year old at Mcdonalds might have loogied on our burger.

Being an environmentally conscious individual, my brother Chris decided to do something a bit different. He started the groundwork for a community garden in our own little township of Henrietta. With the help of some friends, and the internet, he now has a facebook group with over 60 members, all dedicated to assisting with setting up a sustainable, organic garden.

No pesticides
No Altered veggies.
Just fresh, 100% hard earned deliciousness.

In his feat he wasn't alone. Highmowing Seeds donated 20+ packets of seeds along with the order that was originally placed.
Gro-Moore farms also helped by pretty much donating an acre of land to the cooperative farming effort. Now instead of my back yard being torn completely to shreds, we can use a private plot of land, just off of route 251 and 15 in Rush (A big chunk of the plowed field barely south east of the landing spot). Gro-Moore farms was even generous enough to plow the land for us, to save a large amount of work and effort.

With 100+ seeds starting in my downstairs living room, and countless others preparing seeds and other plants, this garden is looking to take off into a wonderful bliss of delicious organic food. Hopefully as the garden takes off, I will be able to keep up, and other communities may take after this type of garden project.

A healthy life, is a life where everyone wins.

Hairy Italian Sausages (aka hairy weiners)

2010-04-21T21:11:00.005-04:00

I know what your all thinking, "Omg, that guy has turned his blog into a porn site!"

Yes, I know this may disappoint those who googled "hairy Weiners", that was not in fact my intention. This is all about an odd apparently Russian craze that I figured I had to do, Not just because some Ruskies said it was cool, but what kind of Pastafarian would I be if I didn't check out something created by our noodly master! Now, as a few blogs shared, the Russians developed this as a way to get kids to eat hotdogs and spaghetti. I'm not sure, but don't all kids basically eat hot dogs and spaghetti? Rarely do I ever meat a kid who doesn't eat hot dogs. Hell, Eating hot dogs and a box of mac n cheese is basically every kids upbringing (that is besides fast food and other tv dinners).

So I put it to the test. Since I don't really like hot dogs, I went with the next best thing. Italian Sausage, the spicy variety. I gathered up a bunch of spaghetti strands, broke them all in half, and began piercing the sausage through and through, using roughly 20 strands in total. The result? Basically some porcupine looking weiners.

Beautiful right?
Now, none of the websites I saw had instructions, much less instructions in English, so I figured what the hell. Just toss it in, and cook till the meat has temped, and the spaghetti is done.
So I cooked for probably 15-20 minutes boiling, and the meat, ohh ya, that was done. The spaghetti was why it was in there so long.

Pulled out *ya, I hope that gets a fun google tag* and TaDa! I had my own hairy italian sausages!

They came out a tad bit dry (the sausage) but overall was pretty good. I garnished with a vegetable Alfredo mix, and tada! Delicious!

So have yourself a taste of my hairy weiner. You can use hot dogs, or italian sausages.

Red states vs blue states vs taxes

2010-04-15T19:51:00.000-04:00

So we tend to get this common type of stereotype that Conservative red states don't like taxes, While blue states seem not to mind as much. Blue states want things that the taxes fund, red states are pissed that they have to pay taxes.

So lets break things down here a little bit.

And yes, all of the swing states voted blue *poor new Mexico, why did you have to shame us so*

Of the 32 states that gave more than they recieved, 31 voted Democrat this election. Thats 96%!!!
Of the

So does anyone see an odd characteristic here? Wait what! States that want to have programs that help people, PAY MORE THAN THEY RECEIVE!! And states that want less intervention basically suckle off of the other states?
Only 1 state that voted for McCain actually pays more than it receives in funding, and that is Texas, at a 94 cents to the dollar difference. REALLY!

And if you look at it, The blue states that do receive more than they pay, with the exception of Maine, tend to be in the south.

I Think before we raise taxes at all on a federal level, it would be more appropriate to evenly distribute the wealth fairly, so you get what you pay for. The conservatives largest argument is "WHY SHOULD I PAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE NOT TO WORK"
Well, Why the hell should all of the blue states have to pay for the red states?

It just completely baffles me. Doesn't it baffle you?
Thank God these conservative states know what they are talking about, and our crazy northern liberal Ideas are going to destroy our economy, kill the elderly, and cause young teens to get pregnant!

Dog Whip

2010-03-29T21:21:00.001-04:00

Be careful everyone, apparently if you whip dogs, it will come back and get you in the eye.

Thats why Animal Cruelty is such a bad thing

Flying Fucks

2009-12-01T21:13:00.001-05:00

Did some Turkey Day ice skating in Conneticut over the break. Pretty interesting since I am too tall lanky and gangly to really ice skate. Two things made it awesome.

1)Little kids all decked out in hockey gear that cried every time they fell (Can't wait to watch them get checked into the glass by the fat 5 year old)

2And the fact that the sign on the glass truly represented what open skate is at a rink.

Flying fucks
You know, those people that have NO CLUE that they are ice skating with 40 other people, so they ignore the cones, the "We skate in a counter clockwise fashion" and pretty much everyone else. So while your going straight, they are turning into you arms flopping about as if they are having a wonderous orgasm on ice.

Bastards.

The art of the fart

2009-08-07T18:41:00.001-04:00

Everybody farts, it's a fact of life. Except girls, they release rainbows. But farting, or as it is properly refereed to "Flatulence" can lead to an embarrassing situation. After several years of passing gas I have developed a technique that will allow you to leave the uncomfortable bloated realm of holding it in behind, while leaving your pant's dry, and your co-workers and family with out a clue.

Step one Fart Testing
Yes, fart testing. Through out the day you should test your farts. First thing in the morning, right before you get out of your car, and then after any food you consume. By releasing a fart at these times you can test for smell, sound and solidity. (Leaving a wet spot in your trousers is never a good thing) As long as you perform periodic test farts, and they pass the muster, you should be able to let out those silent non-smelly farts whenever you must, with out raising suspicion.

Step Two Noise Concealment
So you have tested your farts and they don't smell, they aren't wet, but they make a little noise. This can be easily taken care of. Don't let pressure build to a point where you may crap yourself, but when you feel one coming, you know will be noisy from your fart test earlier, Drop a large book, Cough, Sneeze or Slam a door. Even pinching a co-worker will work. Not only will they let out a noise to cover it up, but they will be so distracted they won't notice your fart. When was the last time you heard "HEY! You pinched m... did you just fart?"

Step three Smell Concealment
There are several levels of smelly farts. Some you get a quick whiff of something unpleasant. Others linger with that eggy smell for several minutes, and yet others. well.. you should really see a doctor instead of reading an article online if you are having those farts.
There are many ways to cover/eliminate the smell of a wretched anus that are simple and cheap. A good idea is to fart when there is something cooking/near a cafeteria. If someone comments you can chime in "Ya, the food probably won't be too good today" Patchouli oil can work wonders also, not only will it cover the smell, but most people will try to stay away from you for the scent of that alone, making the fart almost impossible to tell. And lastly, Blaming. While the dog can be a great thing to blame, the dog usually isn't in your office with your boss and a co-worker. If you make the move before the smell hits anyone, your pretty set.
In a group of 3+ attempt to let out farts when individuals sit down, stand up, bend or lean. Then immediately look and go "ohh man, you really shouldn't have done that out here" However be aware. If you are often the one heard saying things like that, people may catch on.

The Final Solution Leaving the scene
Sometimes a fart either will not be able to be held in, or is so horrible there is nothing you can do but put on a mask and pray. To eliminate the possibility of losing a job, you can always use one of these escape methods.
Excuse yourself to the bathroom- While better than farting on someone, they will probably get the hint that something is afoul
Exclaim "Is that the icecream man?" and start running- While this may not work in a high rise, it may get you out of a sticky (literally) situation.
Letting it out- Although this isn't recommended for anyone that wants to keep their job, there is sometimes that guilty pleasure of watching a dozen people gag and nearly vomit to something that came out of you (that is unless you have truly ugly children)

So there you have it. The art of farting. Use it wisely, and just in case, always carry an extra change of knickers.

~Waldo~

Newspaper Fail

2009-07-12T11:55:00.002-04:00

About 4 years ago I was unable to continue to afford the local newspaper, the Democrat and Chronicle. Didn't matter much since I received 5x's more news, better updated, and with crazy awesome color pictures online free. Well after a 5 hour wait at Midas to have them fix a one hour long problem, I actually read a newspaper kicking around the office.

Leave it to a journalism major to forget the difference between hurricanes, and tornado's. Fail.

I am used to watching the USA Today have tons of spelling and grammatical errors online, never the Democrat and Chronicle. No wonder I was able to be a writer for the D&C back when I was 17. They will hire anyone!

Funny captchas round 2!

2009-06-03T20:41:00.000-04:00

So a good deal of people seemed to like my first funny captcha post about Ceasars erection
Yes, that was a pretty hysterical captcha. But I found another Funny Captcha the other day while trying to help my brother get a job babysitting on craigslist. Now, it's not as clever as the first one, But honestly WTF?

I find the weirdest captchas, "are urethra" What in the hell is that supposed to be talking about? You would think that before they publish the captcha dictionaries, they filter out a handful of words that might turn out inappropriate. I am surprised I haven't gotten "puppy boner" or "Touch breasts" yet.

The republican party, not big enough for everyone

2009-05-25T08:46:00.005-04:00

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending the Rochester Lilac Festival, a yearly tradition that has tons of great vendors, occasional good music, and of course, lilacs. Well this year was no different, and with a few beers in a red cup I wandered the pouring rain with some friends and saw what the shops and vendors had to offer. You could buy anything from Artichoke French, to Wax Hands, or even Lawn ornaments made of recycled garbage. Some pretty cool stuff. And as always there are other booths that don't sell an actual product or service, but an Idea. Radio stations, the "Recycle or you kill the planet" van, and the "Hey, come shoot people in a foreign land and get paid to go to college!"

One tent however really caught my eye.

Yes, apparently to be a member of the republican party you now have to be a midget! Sure, you might be white. SURE you might have a lot of money. You have a strange fear of gays, blacks, and anyone different from you. You believe in lowering taxes, for the rich, and the poor. Cutting those communistic things like Healthcare, and Education. And now, you have to be under 5 feet tall.

What group of people has the GOP NOT alienated?

If only he had a nascar shirt on.

Things NOT covered by health insurance

2009-05-09T12:22:00.000-04:00

everyone that has health insurance knows there are tons of things that aren't covered. Each health insurance plan will offer different things that it does or doesn't cover, and at what percentage they may cover it. Well, occasionally you have individuals who don't find what they are looking for in the booklets, try to purchase a treatment, and then get pissed that they don't have it covered.

Sometimes, these idiots take stupid to a high and new level.

Yes, apparently people have attempted to purchase illegal drugs, and illegal operations using their health insurance. I can just imagine the conversation.

"yo, can I get a rock"
"ya man, it'll be fiddy"
"heres by blue cross blue shield card"
"what you frontin!?"
"yo dawg, its part of my insurance"
"man, get your punk ass outta here"
"Damn, you think the back alley abortion dude will accept this?"
"you be illin!!!"

I at least assume that's how drug dealers talk due to movies

my 5 easy tips on staying thin.

2009-05-07T09:48:00.000-04:00

Every day I see commercial after commercial for the miracle on how to lose weight. Every third banner ad is on how to lose that flabby weight that you put on because your lazy and immobile. Every other radio commercial is about losing weight fast with this medical dietary breakthrough!

And now, for only $9.99 a meal, you can get this cardboard flavored ass cake that will make you thin (Probably because you will throw up after eating it, Bulimia in a disguise)

But it's really not hard to stay thin and following my Five easy tips on staying thin You too will probably shed a few pounds *Or at least not gain much more*

Tip #1
Have you ever heard of healthy steps? Each day that I go to a store I park the FARTHEST away that I can from the store entrance. As a friend put it "You know that car parked way the fuck out in the middle of no where, and you wonder who the fuck parked there? Ya, that's me"

Now wait, Isn't parking there going to waste so much more time because your walking?! Well, possibly. You can either spend 3 minutes driving around in circles, waiting for someone to leave a spot that's closer, or you can park far out, and get that much needed exercise.

"But won't I be walking in the store?"
Listen, if you have a problem with walking, than go back home with some icecream and stop reading. If your too lazy to walk, then you obviously don't care that your getting fat.

Tip #2 Take the stairs
We have all gone into a building and we immediately rush to the elevator to go up 1-2 stories Really? That lazy? Its 1-2 stairs? Your going to pay to go to a gym and walk up a stair climber, yet you won't walk up stairs regularly?

Just say no to elevators, and walk up the stairs! Obviously if its 104 stories, maybe walk up 5-10 then take the elevator.

Tip #3 Stop eating fast food
"But Waldo, I want to be able to eat McDonalds and Starbucks every single day! I can't function with out my $4 mocha latte iced caffeine coffee or my Quarter pounder and grease!"
On every weird occasion it is ok to stop and eat fast food. Your on a long drive somewhere and starving, need to get a quick bite. Sure. But every day before work why do you need to get a sugar pumped caffeinated beverage? Or 4 McDonalds croissants. Ya, you say your going to get the healthy orange salad, but no, you get hash browns, a whopper, and an extra large coke, wait no, DIET coke *since it's really going to help*. Grow up, your not a little kid looking for his happy meal. This is probably one of the most important of my Five tips on staying thin If you can't cook for yourself, its either time to learn, or get a wife.

Tip #4Cook for yourself.
Yes, this is a part of tip #3, but you can do it, cook for yourself. And I don't mean to do it like http://xkcd.com/ writer would

I mean cook healthy foods. Vegetables! Its so easy to make a tasty stir fry with some leftover rice, and fresh or frozen vegetables. Just toss them all in a hot pan with a little bit of oil, add a dash of soy sauce, some garlic, and crack an egg in there. TADA! Eat fresh vegetables. And no, Not coated in an ounce of ranch dressing, Plain!. Make a cucumber salad. Its basically cucumber, onion, some diced tomato, and Italian dressing. TASTY!

Tip #5Mow your own lawn
The final tip of my five tips to stay thin works for anyone that has their own house. Mow your own lawn. And not on a riding lawn mower either. Get out there and push! Not only will you build some muscles and sweat a little, but you will feel a great sense of accomplishment as your lawn looks nice, and you chopped a pesky mole into 5000 pieces and sprayed it into your neighbors pool. Stop paying some company hundreds a year to mow it for you. If your going to pay anyone, find the fattest little kid on your street and pay him. At least one of you won't be a giant at the end.
"But waldo, by the time I get home from work, its beginning to get dark, I have to cook myself dinner, I'm tired!" What, would you rather do it in the REALLY HOT SUN or when its cooling for night? Take of your a shirt *Especially if your a hot chick* and cool off a bit.

Not only are you NOT spending money to buy diet pills, go to a gym, or eat disgusting tasting low fat food, but you are actually SAVING money! You might think that dollar menu is saving you, but when you buy eight items at a time your spending far more. I feed 3 people a chicken dinner for $9-10, with leftovers!
You won't drop 50 pounds or lose weight at an amazing pace, but you sure as hell won't be gaining any if you follow these steps. It's simple, and takes little to no time. STOP BEING A LAZY FUCK

I made Ninety Eight Dollars off of Cash Crate

2009-04-29T17:28:00.003-04:00

As several folks know I started doing Cash Crate As a way to make extra money on my lunch breaks at work and at home during commercials. Well my 2nd month of doing it has paid off even more netting me $98 Big ones, All for around 9 hours of work, during time I would otherwise be totally bored!

But aren't all of those sites scams?
That's what I thought and was cautious at first. Turns out all you do for this program is take surveys for companies like Nike, Mcdonalds, Pepsi, Coke, and more!

It's that simple?
Yep! All you do are surveys worth anywhere from 25cents to $2, and they credit either instantly, or within a few hours! I only use the program when I am bored during commercial breaks.

It's fast, it's simple and it's 100% Free!!!!

Yep, that's right, you never enter a credit card, you never have to buy anything, or make any telemarketing calls! All you do are free sample offers and get paid!

I never knew that making money online could be so simple and fun!

Better yet, you get $1 straight up, just for signing up and filling out your info!

So if your 13+, want to earn some extra cash, and have a little bit of free time, Check it out!
Nothing better than earning Free money online. The Best GPT site Around!

Hot Dog Day 2009

2009-04-27T10:43:00.000-04:00

Alas, Hot Dog Day 2009, the annual festival held between Alfred State College and Alfred University occurred with fantastic results this last weekend. Hot dogs and alcohol flooded the streets as numerous events, parties, and a parade took place.

Each year Mu Theta and Psi Sigma Psi team up right outside of Alex's College Spot and cook weiners to our content. We haev always prided ourselves in our awesome weiner handling capabilities, and the fact that we produce probably 1/2-3/4 of all of the weiners sold on Hot Dog Day. This year was no different. Before the tickets went on sale our booth had 100+ dogs cooked and buns all set to go. We sold out of them within a half an hour, even though we had a constant stream of weiners coming off the grill. Our well coordinated efforts allowed us to ensure EVERY Patron could put a weiner in their mouth, with out much of a wait.

This year, We even made the Evening Tribune

But the history of the event was not lost on the Greek organizations that sold hot dogs to the masses on Main Street, along with various other foods, arts and crafts vendors.

“We cooked over 2,000 for sure. We had to go get more,” said Maria Terrigimo, a member of Psi Sigma Psi who helped man the grills. “It’s just great to be out here with friends.”

“We’ve been out here since 9 a.m.,” said Mu Theta member Mike Nuttle, adding the only thing getting him down “not so much, but it’s the heat.”

And of course, the fun didn't stop at the Hot Dog booth. All of us descended upon the bars and numerous house parties to have a fantastic evening full of drunken debauchery. Beer Pong, assorted hookups, and pitcher after pitcher of ice cold fantasticness.

So if you ever have the opportunity to attend a hot dog day, be sure to swing by the Mu Theta and Psi Sigma Psi Weiner Tent, and let us put our meat, in your mouth

So you want to marry your friends.

2009-04-21T18:29:00.000-04:00

Early in my college career, fall 2005 as it would be, I began to realize that my faith as a Pastafarian could lead to some trouble down the road. If/When I choose to get married, how would I accommodate my pirate regalia, Barrels of Rum, and several lines of "ARG MATEY!" before I go and "plunder the booty" of the honey moon.

Well I did some research and found a way that I myself could become an ordained minister. Now, while I could not marry myself, I would be able to perform legal marriages in the state of New York *As well as several other states/counties/countries.*

Seeing as I am always one to go against the main stream religion, I grabbed my mouse and clicked away to the http://www.themonastery.org/ where I found I could become legally ordained 100% FREE! I just had to make sure I abide by all applicable governing laws, as well as these following rules.

The Universal Life Church | ULC is the only denomination in the world that opens its doors to all, and welcomes all who ask to Become an Ordained Minister. We are non-denominational. We support a full spectrum interfaith ministry. Over 20 million ministers have been ordained online throughout the world. We make no religious hurdles, no hoops to jump through, no tests of loyalty, no rings to kiss and no fees to pay. The Universal Life Church represents freedom, and to have freedom you can not make demands upon individuals. In the Universal Life Church Monastery everyone is equal - the same level of greatness is enjoyed by all. We will be your personal minister/consulate and advisor, with your consent at no charge to you. We ordain all who ask and welcome you to the Universal Life Church Monastery Ministries.

So basically, as long as I didn't discriminate against individuals for their beliefs, i was pretty much set! FABULOUS, since that is one of my main reasons for disliking organized religion. I signed up to receive my ordination certificate and it came a short time later.

Although I from time to time would mention my ordination, or would write letters as "Reverend Patrick Bernard Whelehan III" it went long unused, and ended up in the back of a folder in a closet. That is until my Fraternity brother and good friend "Petey Pop" was in need.

A little over a year ago, he managed to impregnate his girlfriend, and they were recently blessed with a little poop machine to call their own. Everything was going great for them, and they were working on becoming married in the future when everything with school, jobs, and having the baby began to settle down. Sadly the county of Allegheny in NY happens to have some pretty out their rules regarding children. It seems that if you excrete a baby out of wedlock, the Father is required by the state to pay child support. Thats cool right?
Well in Pete's case it most certainly wasn't. He and his Girlfriend had been living together for over a year, shared expenses, and when the baby came Pete was there to support. However Allegheny county didn't see it that way. If his support wasn't funneled through their hands *And $50+ removed each transaction for their "fees"* He was doing it wrong. Apparently wrong to the sum of several thousand dollars.

Pete was left with 2 options. Pay up all the money at once, or go to jail. Thats where I came in. Just a week or 2 ago they came to my house early in the morning to get married. It was a quick quaint service, with half sleeping witness's, but everyone was there and it was still a joyous occasion. Even the poop machine *who managed not to poop* was enjoying the wedding.

Earlier this week I got the call that the wedding was a success, they had the marriage certificate, and were happily set. Although they will do a more formal event in the future for the families and friends, this quick yet legal ceremony allowed them to keep living life, and to raise their beautiful child.

If you are interested in becoming ordained, I encourage you to check it out, and see what hoops you may have to jump through in your state or county. It is a great feeling to know you have made a couple happy.

Pud Light

2009-04-18T14:27:00.002-04:00

Last night I was out at Acme Bar in Rochester with some of my fraternity brothers and sorority sisters and came across what I thought was a pretty clever sign.

The sign was originally for Bud Light, a pretty decent beer that has been known to give me gas, but someone managed to pull off a part of the sign and make it say "pud"

For those unfamiliar with the word Pud, it is often a slang word for a males genitalia.

For example "Hey, quit playing with your pud"
People often times will use 2 of the same lettered words to describe it.

"Playing with your Pud"
"pulling your pud"
"plow her with your pud"

Regardless of how you use your pud, it's best served light, less calories, and quite possibly better for you overall. Just be careful if you have any pud light with lime, I heard that it can leave a very dissatisfying taste in your mouth, and if you get any in your eyes, its all over.

Comics for filler

2009-04-16T20:19:00.002-04:00

As you all know, when I am Bored or Lazy I do something to fill the space here on my blog. That's why I have some new comics for everyone!

If you take offense, grow up. These are Funny and may make you feel bad inside.

I know the comics are a little crude, but I had to shrink them to fit.

And my second comic

I will attempt to get a better update out for everyone to enjoy later this week. I have been busy installing a new bar in my basement. Everyone loves their alcohol and I am no different. *Takes another sip of vodka-aide *

Remember! If you like it leave comments, social book mark me, or check out my other pages! Also, check out my girlfriends new site http://coolcashfast.blogspot.com

Peace

How to Detect and Remove the Conficker or Downadup Worm from your Computer

2009-04-02T18:15:00.002-04:00

For the last day I have been struggling with Removing the Conficker worm from computers at my place of employment. The worm is very clever which makes it harder to eliminate.

Symptoms
* Cannot run Windows Update
* Cannot Update Antivirus Software
* Cannot start up in Safe Mode
* Inability to view many websites

The worm keeps you from going to sites to try to get rid of it, and instead occasionally will redirect you to sites that Have more malicious files.

Checking for the worm
So, Do you have the worm? Lets check. Go to http://www.confickerworkinggroup.org/infection_test/cfeyechart.html In Internet Explorer.
If the page loads, your on to a good start. There are 6 images displayed on the page right at the top. If some of them load, yet others don't, you probably have a variant of the Conficker worm. If they all load successfully, you are most likely alright. It should look like the below picture if everything loaded correctly

Removal
So if you do have issues viewing the site, or Microsoft update, here is the EASIEST way to remove it.
If you have access to a second computer, Utilize that computer to download the two following files. First, download this file http://iv.cs.uni-bonn.de/uploads/media/conficker_mem_killer.exe
This file is a memory killer which will immediately kill the conficker worm if it is running. BEFORE RUNNING however, you must rename the file so it does not contain the word "conficker". You can easily toss a letter or 2 in the name to get it to work. Run the file. It will flash a command prompt quickly that should go through and terminate all running conficker process's.

Next
The next step is to download and run the fixdwndup tool from Symantec located here http://www.symantec.com/business/security_response/writeup.jsp?docid=2009-011316-0247-99 Once you have obtained it, run the program and it will find the infection and clean it. Immediately reboot your computer and perform a windows update, as well as update all anti-virus software you have, and run regular scans. During the time your computer was infected, you MAY have contracted other worms and virus's.

If you have ANY Questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to post below and I will answer them! Best of luck!

Also, If you liked this site, Check out the Rest of my Links, Learn about my GPT (Get Paid To) experience through www.Cashcrate.com And see how YOU can Make Money online with out paying a dime!

Cows are tools?

2009-03-29T21:03:00.003-04:00

My Fraternity brother Twinkie and his Girlfriend Megan were down in the DC area and decided to do the whole "Lets visit a zoo" thing. Megan has a bit of an issue taking a hell of a lot of pictures but she managed to get one good one that I had to steal from her. Well, it isn't really stealing, it's more of a "borrowing" thing, since she knows about it.

Now, I don't know about you guys, but I was pretty sure that Cows aren't tools.

THIS, Is a tool (better yet, a whole assortment of tools)

I can't believe kids actually dress like that, fake and bake, and think they look cool.
No, I can't believe that there are girls skanky and dumb enough to sleep with those guys.

No, no, I can believe it, People are stupid.

Thanks to google for the Tool picture. I don't associate with those individuals so I don't have my own actual tool pic.

If you have gotten this far and your lost, you obviously don't know what a "tool" is.

Taken from Urban Dictionary
tool

Someone who tries too hard to fit in with everyone else.
Someone who can't think for themselves.
A fake person. Someone does things to impress people.
A person who wears only "branded" or "labelled" clothing and thinks that it makes them cooler than others.
A person who tries hard to impress other people
Someone who wears two brightly colored collared shirts at the same time and pops both of their collars.
In extreme cases, the tool looks like a Vampire (Count Chocula).
Someone who takes a picture of you on their camera phone when you're copying homework in lunch and threatens to show it to your teacher is a tool. No one likes the tool and everyone talks behind his back.
And of course, for reference, Here is a picture of count Chocula, one of the coolest cereal mascotts ever.

First Cashcrate check in the mail!

2009-03-24T17:28:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I received my first ever CashCrate check in the mail! I was so excited, but I had already made a blog post about penny appetizers and $1 entrees at TGI Fridays that I had to wait until today to post it. I went on into the bank and cashed it SWEET!

Sweet right! Well the way to do Cash Crate is ever so easy. ALL YOU DO is fill out 100% FREE Surveys and offers, you never have to enter a credit card, buy anything, sell anything or call ANYONE, and they send you checks in the mail!

This month I am already up to $63 and am moving even further along! I can't wait to get that check! My goal is to double my money each month as I learn more tricks and tips on how to do it.

If you click the check and sign up under me, I will offer you all the tips that I know, since, If you make $1, I get 25 cents TOO!!! and for each person that you get underneath of you that makes money, you get 20% of theirs! *once you get 50 people you get 25%!"

It's so easy, I can't believe more people don't do it!

So click the check, OR CLICK HERE and find out how you too can make fast easy free money online with out ever spending a dime!

As always if you have ANY questions or anything, leave a comment, or email me!

Penny appetizers and $1 entrees at TGIFRIDAYS!!!

2009-03-23T17:32:00.004-04:00

Anyone that knows me well knows I am cheap. How cheap? I spent 1 straight week at work eating nothing but 100% FREE food for lunch. Thats how cheap.

Today I stumbled across an amazing deal for individuals that enjoy TGIFridays or would like to try it.

INSTEAD OF CLICKING THE LINK TO GO TO IT AND PRINT, YOU NEED TO RIGHT CLICK AND EITHER SAVE IMAGE AS, OR, IF YOUR BROWSER LETS YOU, PRINT IT.

Check it out man, It is totally worth it.

Remember, if you like this page submit it to stumbleupon, Write a comment, or check out some of my other pages!

FREE Chips and Drink from Quiznos!!

2009-03-16T16:10:00.000-04:00

A little while ago Quiznos gave away some Free subs to the 1st million people that ordered them!

Well, they are back at it by giving away 1million chips and drinks *with the purchase of a sub*

So you get a whole lunch for $5, and their subs aren't bad!!

Click here to sign up for your sub

You can only do 1 per person, but it is definitely worth it! Check it out!

kicked in the nuts round 2

2009-03-09T09:13:00.000-04:00

Well, years and years and years ago *about 4 and a half* I was at a party at Alfred, and well, ends up im an idiot, get kicked in the balls. Yes, it is on youtube.

Well, my boss *The guy that egged on the first kicking* was partying with us saturday and egged on round 2.

Needless to say, I need to figure a way out NOT to get kicked in the crotch

The Flying Spaghetti Monster

2009-03-03T17:54:00.000-05:00

I have been a Pastafarian for well over 5 years now, and I just realized I didn't have anything to symbolize my love for our noodly master. So, I decided to get to it, and using some rubber bands, Brown pipe cleaners, googley eyes, bottle caps, and glueing 2 of my fingers together Tada!

I had made my very own homage to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

In case you are TOTALLY lost, www.venganza.org This site should help you out.

I sure can't wait for that afterlife with a Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory

First $20 on cashcrate

2009-02-21T15:41:00.000-05:00

so I actually finally got to my first $20 on cashcrate! Hoorah!

It's pretty cool and I can't wait for the check to come aroudn the 15th of march *same time my refund comes* and I can actually make even more money now that I learned the trick to it. Hoorah!

If your interested check the link http://cashcrate.com/1101677

I will start updating with "fun stuff" again probably tomorow.

funny captcha

2009-02-20T22:36:00.000-05:00

So all the time i am on the interweb submitting stuff for people to see and all teh time I have to submit captchas. Whats a captcha? It's one of those funny looking boxes that makes you enter in soem randomly generated word/number to try to make sure your not a robot. Pretty cool, it keeps down on the spam.

Whats not cool is when you get some really messed up ones, Like this.

Honestly, WTF! Why !!

I did not want to see that, but, shit happens right

Free buy one get one dinners!

2009-02-19T13:04:00.000-05:00

Ok, Anyone that knows me knows I like Free stuff. And who wouldn't? I have gotten free samples of almost anything you can think of. Shirts, hats, condoms, tampons, soap, women razors. You name it, I probably have received it.

But this one, This one is pretty sweet. Not as good as the free dennys grand slam *100%free* but pretty darn close.
http://static.dealspl.us/images/coupon/1233334089_9165.jpg

That link is a link to a Buy one get one FREE TGIF coupon. A decent restaurant, with decent food. BUT it expires by march 1st, so you HAVE TO USE IT SOON!

So go out, Eat some, and comment on your experience. Or pass my blog link around to friends that eat there.

Cash crate visitors

2009-02-16T17:18:00.005-05:00

Click one of the banners to get started!
OR CLICK HERE!

CLICK HERE TO BE TAKEN TO A PICTURE OF THE CHECK I JUST GOT!!!
So as you all see by a post 2-3 below this one, I started using this service called "cash Crate". Basically I make money by doing surveys, filling out forms, and signing up for newsletters.

Well I am up to $46 now, after less than a week at it. and I finally had someone actually click the link from my blog! FANTASTIC! *UPDATE* I have made another $33 in march, only during lunch breaks at work! that's only 4 hours!
*UPDATE* Scratch the $33, I have made $48 in march! ALSO! my $46 check from February was mailed out 2 days ago. I will be posting the picture as soon as it arrives!

It's so simple! I think most people don't read the little message I send them, or contact me to get tips and tricks. It's not hard for them to get started at this.

So Hey, if your interested, click the links to it, Go and sign up, and either comment, email me, or somehow contact me and I will help you out. It's simple, easy, and 100% free. I have yet to spend a dime!
Sign up now!

Comics comics comics!

2009-02-15T16:36:00.000-05:00

Here are a few more of my better comics. Too busy to post a real post. I am about to go out for my birthday!

Tada! Hope they don't too horribly offend anyone. They are comics as you know.

fun videos!

2009-02-13T22:26:00.000-05:00

back a while ago in college my roomate yoghurt and I used to dub over xmen video's to make them a bit more interesting. It was much like the GI joe video's that are HYSTERICAL! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJ-ckU_D1fg However, We didnt have good equipment to do the stuff with, so we had to make craptastic ones. But anywho, here is one, and I will post more later. Check it out!

Sorry about the banners

2009-02-10T10:01:00.008-05:00

Sorry to everyone about the new banner add on the side.

I know I know, Banner ads suck, and I agree, I tend to block 90% of them. However this banner actually could potentially make me money, where as the google adsense banners, well, lol.

Basically the deal is, for each person that clicks it, signs up, and fills out just their name, I get 20 cents. The more they do they more I make. by them signing up for any of the actual services (the not free ones that are 100% optional) I can make $$ :-D Now ya, I probably will only get 1 person to click it in a whole year, but if that 1 person actually uses the system well (Like I am, Im at $5, and spent maybe 10 minutes of free time and no money) then I will actually start making money.

This is about the only legit scheme I have come across where people, and LOTS of people actually receive money!!

Cat tongue

2009-02-08T15:09:00.002-05:00

Getting ready to cook soup, my brother looking through our recipe book found this.

Yum, cat tongues

Santorum, and the hilarity that ensues.

2009-02-07T00:26:00.013-05:00

Some of you may know the word Santorum. Yes, it describes a former senator froM Pennsylvania. Nope? you don't know him? He was the one that said that a right to privacy doesn't exist if your gay, and anything of a homosexual manor is sodomy, downright sodomy and can be punished under the law as such. He then went on to say that priests and such that were accused and convicted of molesting little kids, shouldn't be held to any worse regard than a regular consenting adult homosexual couple. Because, we all know touching little kids under the guise of being "holy" is ok.

Still don't remember him?

Remember Dan Savage? comedian in america

Nope, well probably not, He isn't a really great comedian, except for one HYSTERICAL thing.
You see, Dan savage wrote a sex column for a newspaper and asked his readers to write in a new definition for the word santorum. something that would befit such a "loving" and "respectful" character ans Rick. And boy did they pull through.

"that frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex."
Ya, that's right. He is now associated with that disgusting leftover drip effect, the same thing that dripped down and entered Dorothy Bush to create GW... Ya.

So how great does that make you feel. Knowing every night that someone, somewhere is mocking your name, because you were an asshole. I bet he cries at night knowing that, and his wife probably gets harassed everywhere she goes. Although he's that kind of republican that probably beats her to keep her pie-cooking baby making mouth shut.

So go have your self a nice tall glass of santorum.

The boy in the striped pajamas

2009-02-04T18:26:00.004-05:00

I am not really one for Drama movies, or crap like that. It is always too feminine for me. However since this one was about nazi's and war and stuff I figured it would be pretty good.

Now, with out ruining the movie, Holy crap, FANTASTIC! I could see the end coming from about 20 minutes away, but I think that's the point. It gave a real glimpse into what begin a German boy in Nazi Germany was like. When your too young to think for yourself, and knowing that "The motherland" is the only thing that is good and right.

I would definitely been content paying to go see this movie in a theater. Feel free to read more about it at IMDB, the data base with SOO much info on every movie.

After watching it, I am going to be severely disappointed if Valkyrie is not at better or at least even. They hyped the crap out of that movie and if it sucks, I will be PISSED!

How virus's are often like the Vietcong

2009-02-03T20:31:00.000-05:00

So I had a pretty annoying virus problem today. Virtumonde decided to install itself all over a computer I was working on. Spybot SD only could remove parts of it. Symantics virtumonde remover couldn't do it, And neither could another program specifically designed to take out virtumonde.

It's a lot like the Vietcong. You see, we first thought "lets fight this like we fight the rest" We dropped some bombs, sent in the troops, and for some reason, although we killed 15 Cong, 9 more identical looking bastards would re-appear after boot up, and then another 7" Just like the initial spybot scan.

SO then we equip ourselves with better weapons. (symantec, specific programs, in safe mode) And all hell breaks loose. Not only are they appearing faster, but with even more fury.

So, In an all ditch effort what do we do? Carpet bomb, Agent orange, NAPALM!!! Launching every program you can to get rid of them, Safemode, Hijack this, Autoruns, malware bytes, just all of it.

But in the end, Just like Vietnam, you realize that your fucked. No matter what you do, its just getting worse. Wait, No, this is a computer. Instead of withdrawing in defeat, never to mention it again, "yes, i would like to boot to this windows XP CD and reformat"

Take that Virtumonde!

The superbowl is upon us.

2009-02-01T14:58:00.004-05:00

We all know the Superbowl is probably the biggest anticipated sports game in America. Bigger than the Olympics, Bigger than March Madness. Hell, it does have the word Super in it. But what makes it so special? Why are people always so intrigued by it?

The Commercials
Now, yes, some people do actually watch the game. There are the die hard fans that are in the parking lot in Tampa now, painted some ridiculous color, and incredibly intoxicated. Most of the rest of us though are sitting at home, with a few friends, a couple 30 racks, and all the dips and chips you can imagine. But, while we watch the game, yelling over every pass, missed tackle, and interception, we are really only looking forward to one thing. Those commercials.

But now we don't have to! Thanks to the interweb we can all view those amazing comercials before they even make it onto tv! Like this one!
Career Builder Whats better than a grown man crying? punching a small animal in the face. Yep, Thats the clincher. Theres no reason not to. I laughed my balls off when I saw this one, and there are thousands others. some are excellent. Some are just horrible. None will ever live up to the amazing 7up comercials of the past 7 up That was by far one of the greatest commercials ever created and played.

Now that your aware of this unknown fact. That you can watch the commercials before, after, or during the Superbowl, with out having to actually watch steroid abusing individuals fondle each other over a ball, are you going to start looking? I sure as hell hope so. Enjoy, and please, drink responsibly. lol.

Some stumblers just aren't good stumblers

2009-01-28T21:09:00.002-05:00

After having a blog for 3 months I have noticed there are several kinds of stumblers.

there's the "I click through till i see a picture" stumblers. These people apparently never saw the photos option on their toolbar.

Next is the "I liked your page, but instead of clicking on your other pages, I am just going to stumble again, and if I arrive at another of your pages, cool". Yes, I am sometimes guilty of this, But many times if something excites me, I stumble through their other stuff hoping that it too is as exciting. If it isn't, ehh. But if it is :-D

there's the "Its a blog, instant click off" stumblers. Understandable, a lot of blogs are boring, annoying, or just plain full of dumb information.

Next is the "I have never clicked thumbs up or thumbs down" stumbler. These people are the worst. Not only are they not rating sites for others to view, but they are basically looking through content that some individuals not all, a good deal of people just steal others contentput time and energy into creating, and giving them no feedback.

Lastly, is the "wow, I like that, I am going to re post it on my site" stumbler. These are the absolute worst. How can you live with yourself knowing you are just steeling other peoples information! Seriously!

Sure I feel like a bit of a stalker. I use the wonderful Feedjit site to see how people get to my site, and how they leave. And man, 95% of people stumble one post, and then stumble away. No ratings, not anything. Just "meh"

5 Reasons Jury duty is a waste of time.

2009-01-27T08:36:00.014-05:00

We all have gotten those summons in the mail. and all of us have had to actually go and sit through it. Here are the 5 biggest reasons (although there are about 200 others) that this process sucks.

5- They don't reimburse you for parking. Sure, in the great state of New York, they give you $40 a day (thats about $5 an hour) to come and be a juror (or prospective juror) What they don't tell you is that parking is $7.25, if you park under the court house (and if you take your car for lunch, its another $7.25 when you return) or $7.00 if you want to walk a mile in the cold. That eats your $40 down to $33 real quick.

4- Their constant re-insurance that "We are working to make the wait time shorter". Really? First they said you have to be there at 8:15 *THROUGH* security, and seated. Arriving at 7:30 seemed fair. Nope, the security was so far backed up I got through JUST at 8:14, and there were still 200 people left. some of the people I talked to had been waiting there since 7am. Then, they say "your judge will start jury selection at 9:00. Cool, so If I wait till 9am, i get to move around some out of these uncomfortable chairs, and maybe selected. NOPE. 9:45 when my judge finally calls for jurors to start. The other 400 people still hadn't heard from theirs. Finally each "1 hour" or "15 minute break" was an understatement. Every break was 30-45minutes longer than allotted for. If I had known that I would have walked to the bar and gotten a few drinks!

3- Repetition repetition repetition. I understand that you have to be thorough when picking a juror, It makes sense. You don't want some biased asshole sitting on your jury. But do you have to repeat the exact same scenario, to each freakign person, asking them all the exact same question, that, after they saw the first person get booted off for an answer, all promptly copied?

2- The order they go in. Once they explained to us how long the trial was expected to take (a week and 2 days), they then started selecting potentials 1 by 1, and would ask them if they knew any reason they couldn't serve. Well about 30 people got taken out, through the course of 8 hours (they didn't do this to everyone at the person, they did it until they had 21 people at a time, then would stop). This mean the poor pregnant chick, due any day, had to wait 5 hours before she could tell the judge she couldn't serve. The guy that spoke no English had to wait 3 hours before he could tell the judge. And the chick who had been assaulted with a gun (we were doing a murder trial) had to wait 7 hours. Seriously?

1- Not being asked a god damn question. Out of the 100 people I went into the court room with. All but 6 of us got called up as potential jurors. I got stuck waiting, doing NOTHING for 8 hours. No cell phone, no laptop, no book. Just sitting and listening. I felt like I was watching the worst possible part of C-span. you know where the guy reads the dictionary for 8 hours straight? THATS WHAT IT FELT LIKE!

Way to fail NY jury system. Way to fail.
More blog

Fat witch brownies

2009-01-25T13:48:00.000-05:00

tasty little morsels. our dear friend Eli sent us these cool little treats that have a clever name to them

yum!

2 more comics

2009-01-22T20:02:00.001-05:00

2 more since I am too busy to post something more interesting

and remember, support free stuff like ImageShack

First linux user

2009-01-21T13:58:00.003-05:00

So my blog, of its close to 3000 views, received its first ever linux viewer! while only staying for roughly 7 seconds it was pretty amazing!

I also received a user for a very very strange reason, as shown in the below picture.

Someone is either a pervert, or really had thought that doing that might be good.

clotted cream fudge

2009-01-20T21:34:00.000-05:00

Now doesn't this just sound really appetizing

Web comics part duex!

2009-01-19T10:06:00.002-05:00

Here are some more webcomics of mine. I am pretty busy on this martin luther king day so I can't actually come up with anything more clever.

Tada!! horrible horrible horrible

Comics!

2009-01-18T14:10:00.001-05:00

Well a long while ago I had started comics that were often crude, ridiculous, and hysterical. However I didn't have the time to really update them as i wanted. And since I have been very busy in real life, I decided that I can use them as filler here between more interesting posts. here are a few, and I will post them occasionally when I am short on other ideas.

Midgets

2009-01-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

Also, apparently they had some problem and using folk medicine are all better.

My girlfriend

2009-01-13T15:55:00.000-05:00

Wow, Just, Wow!
I can't believe this was actually what you find if you look on google and time in "my girlfriend has"

AND LOOK AT HOW MANY RESULTS!

Mr T lives on.

2009-01-12T17:57:00.001-05:00

I recently became aware of this amazing card game Lunch Money. Much better than magic the gathering or any other card game. this game is a mix of luck of the draw, and patience/skill. You basically are placed as 10 year old girls in some inner city slum school that beat eachother to death for their lunch money. What can be better? The same play!

If you can't read it, it says as follows
"Kate- Block- "I laugh at your pipe"
Luc- Hammer - "Kate, what time is it"
Kate- - "hammertime, I'm out"

Absolutely hysterical. You should check out the game, and play it with a group of folks. It makes for a great time at a party or just hanging out with a few friends.

cutting rocks!

2009-01-11T11:33:00.002-05:00

kids these days have lots of pressure. School, Fitting in, Global warming. Well luckily, while at school, learning about global warming, and trying to fit in, they can easily work on their self image by reading this amazing book!

Nothing better than teaching our kids how to be emo!

atheistville

2009-01-09T16:07:00.000-05:00

What a great photo eh? It's a new age version of Sodom and Gamorah! Follow the way of the Gospel and those that you disagree with FIREBOMB! MUAHAHAH!

Sorry but it creeps me out.

Israel not accountable

2009-01-06T18:32:00.000-05:00

Whats the biggest thing in the news? Israel kicking the shit out of Palestine. Yep, armed conflicts happen all the time and happen in much larger scales than this conflict, however everyone is pissed. Why? Because its the Jews!

Everyone seems to feel that Israel, since they were abused in the past, should be given whatever they want to appease them. We have supplied them with billions in weapons. with nuclear weapons. With every sort of aid. Yet we look at Palestine, and the Gaza strip, and let it all crumble. Why? They aren't Jews!

So Israel banned reporters from entering the gaza strip again. Why? Well it sure as hell is easy to slaughter the innocent when there is no one there to report on it. They are bombing schools, civilians, everything. It is 100% WRONG! And why do they get away with it?
Because there Jews!

And because they are fighting against Muslims. It seems its the world against Muslims. Why? Because Muslims are different than Christians, and more violent about it. Buddhists, Hindu's, you can usually leave them alone. They don't fight back, so there is no fun. But Muslims. Piss off a Muslim, and they will fight back.

Our culture in America mocks Jews. They are the butt of dozens of jokes. They are harassed and looked down upon. Except of course, Israel. Those Jews are the good Jews.

It would be nice if we would hold Israel Accountable. It would be nice if people ever were held accountable. The USA got away with too much shit in Afghanistan and Iraq. We will never be held accountable. Russia beat up Georgia, and they won't be held accountable. The British fucked 3/4 of the world 200 years ago, but they weren't held accountable. The only people we ever hold accountable are people that we beat the hell out of. The Germans, The Iraqi's, The Afghan's, and any other Muslim country. Vietnam kicked our ass, and look. They are 10x's better than that Korean country that's all sorts of divided and fucked up.

We complain that Hamas is being supplied weapons and resorting to terrorism. Guess what. If we just stepped in and said "here Hamas, have all the weapons and tech that we gave Israel" Hamas would beat the shit out of Israel. We constantly bitch and moan that people are smuggling it in to the "enemies" Why the hell was Israel given the weapons in the first place? Because they are Jews.

The middle east is like a beehive. Everyone want's the honey, but if you steal it your going to get stung. And the more bee's you kill, the more stings you will get, until either you stop sticking your hand in the beehive, or you destroy it 100%.

So what are we going to do?

ARG!

2009-01-01T17:40:00.000-05:00

Start your day off with a mouthful of booty! Veggie Booty!

talk about some really weird brand names for some really messed up products. Do you really think kids want to eat spinach kale snacks? It just sounds horrible!

Honest Kids?

2008-12-31T09:11:00.000-05:00

SO what the hell. Are kids that drink different juice pouches criminals? Did all politicians drink capri-Suns?

I love how brand names can be so ridiculous. This brand is just attacking anyone that doesn't drink their "eco-friendly" juice. Sure, that's the way to promote your product. Instead of making it taste good, or be cheap, you just make people feel bad about themselves.

Frankly, there is only one kind of juice pouch I drink anymore. Too bad you can't get them in the USA.. Yet.

Ya that's right, Rum in a pouch!

chop suey specs

2008-12-30T16:32:00.000-05:00

I have seen some pretty sexist and racist toys before, but seriously? What is up with this?

Those damn cats

2008-12-29T13:28:00.000-05:00

I haven't understood the fascination with pictures of cats utilizing a mix of internet jargon, l33t 5p34k, and engrish plaguing the internet. Sure, one out of the 40 pictures is semi amusing. However no page showing humorous pictures is with out a dozen of these pictures with everything possible misspelled. As my homage to this apparent trend, I have too created a cat that speaks.

Apparently my cat doesn't suffer from downs syndrome.

Put a clove of garlic in your ass.

2008-12-28T15:10:00.000-05:00

Ever had a hemorrhoid? Ever have the urge to fart and kill vampires? Well apparently this is the home remedy for you! I recently picked up a book with tons of home remedies. All crazy and seemingly disturbing for various illness's. Well I noted that the cure for hemorrhoids was to place a clove of garlic in your bum. I figure the book must be nuts.
5 minutes on google though...

There you have it. Clear out your blood-free hemorrhoids, and really ensure you can clear a room when you have gas.

Day after christmas cookies

2008-12-26T17:32:00.000-05:00

My family is not at all traditional. We don't follow by all those norms that everyone else does. However, one thing we do follow is not letting food go to waste. We realized today that we had cookie dough in the fridge that we had to make cookies with ASAP. And what kind of cookies did we make?

A strange family has to make strange cookies too.

Christmas

2008-12-25T11:40:00.002-05:00

I figured this awesome holiday should be posted with an awesome picture.

Yep, I did it. I belittled the day where some people believe the savior of the world was magically born to a virgin woman. It's ok though. Since what we as Americans celebrate is nothing more than capitalism at it's finest.

Google Trends

2008-12-24T09:32:00.001-05:00

Google, in it's awesomeness has a lab called "trends". This lab allows you to check out how much different things are searched for over the years, and other interesting statistics. Well, I did a little searching of my own, and have settled what I believe to be an age long debate.

What is cooler? Pirates, or Ninjas?

Red- Ninjas Blue- Pirates

As shown by the graph, it appears pirates have finally overtaken ninjas.
As you look at the graph you know that ninjas, at first had the upper hand. However in 2005, at the same time the Pastafarian religion, worshiping the flying spaghetti monster was revealed to be the true faith on earth, pirates easily took the lead. Pirates are also known as the followers of Pastafarianism, and therefore, individuals have had to search more heartily on the facts as to how to be the best pirate you can be.

My last bit of research was not out of any religious view, or any other view, I merely wanted to see if people liked cats, or zombies better. And of course, Zombies triumphed over sissy's

red-Kittens -blue-Zombies

Score one for Pastafarians, and score one for anyone that only likes their kittens in a sack headed for the river.

It's been spotted!

2008-12-23T10:28:00.001-05:00

Everyone has seen those funny pictures of things from other countries with funny names. funny towns, signs, all that jazz. But, to my surprise, you can actually find some of those things in America! The other day shopping at a local grocery store I stumbled upon what I thought was a venereal disease in a can. Good thing it has some further details as to what it is.

There it is, in all it's glory. Spotted Dick. I actually contemplated purchasing it, tasting it, and seeing what it had to offer, but I am on a pretty tight budget. Maybe next time.

Regi plays fetch

2008-12-21T18:32:00.001-05:00

My cat can play fetch

Remember Remember

2008-12-21T13:23:00.000-05:00

Remember Remember The war in Iraq
Our nations illegal preemptive attack
I can think of no reason
why the illegal treason
should ever be forgot

George Bush, George Bush, T'was his intent
to go to war with out congress consent
with young soldiers ready to die
he unleashed hell from the sky
While our nation started to rot
Now were in depression
What a horrible lesson
We should have never invaded Iraq.

Thanks to the nursery rhyme about the gunpowder treason. lets hope we can follow John Lennon and have a merry Christmas, with war over.

Copy Cats everywhere

2008-12-19T12:12:00.000-05:00

Developing a blog is not the easiest thing in the world. To come up with images and stories that are eyecatching and entertaining is pretty difficult. Especially with the nintendo wii, Ipods, and everything else these days.

I stumble the internet a great deal, looking for humorous pictures and stories. Sadly every 3rd picture or story is just a story that someone else had already posted somewhere. People just keep taking others stories or pictures, using them on their site, and hoping the added traffic will give them more revenue. Hasn't anyone ever heard of copyright? I guess not. The idea of an individual owning their own work is now absurd. If I see one more site with the
picture. Sure, it was funny the first, maybe second time I saw it.

third, eighth, and thirtieth? no. Its not funny anymore. STOP REPOSTING OTHER PEOPLES CRAP! arg.

I just wish folks were original.

The anniversary Potato

2008-12-16T11:26:00.000-05:00

My girlfriend and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary this last Friday. Can you believe it! I have been dating a girl for an entire year!

Well she came and visited me and brought me 2 presents. A 28 pack of blue, and a potato.

Now your all wondering why I am so excited about the potato. It's been a running joke with us for a while, and I will have to explain.

When most boyfriends buy something for their girlfriends, they get them a flower. A flower to symbolize their love. It is pretty, it smells nice, and its expensive.

Well, after about 3 days it starts to wilt, then it flat out dies. Who the hell wants to put such a limited use and time line on their love. Sure it may smell great at first, and look pretty, but give it a week. That's exactly how all relationships seem to go. They are all flowers at the beginning, then they rot and smell like shit.

So instead, she got me a potato.

Now a potato, while not as visibly attractive, actually will continue to grow while it's in your possession. Unlike the flower that dies, the potato will grow little eyes, to symbolize how your love for this person will continue to grow. Not only that, but look at all the amazing things you can do with a potato! Don't you want your love to be versatile?
mashed potatoes
french fries
baked potatoes
potato pancakes
potato chips
a battery
remove broken light bulbs from sockets
to grow more potatoes
hash browns
home fries
potato salad
potato bread

and the list goes on.

I want my love to be used for a million reasons, and to continue to grow. So if you really love someone, forgo the flowers, get them a potato.

Operation Turkey Troy

2008-11-27T13:03:00.001-05:00

My brothers and I typically help my mom in operation turkey trot each day. This time however the commentary got political

Operation turkey trot is under way. Our forces will take out the giblets located in the thigh province, and replace them with a more friendly stuffing leadership. We will then put all the heat we can on this new leadership, causing it to hiss and bubble, raising tensions and temperatures. After several hours, when all is juicy and hot, we will again bring forth our knife of justice, segregating the white from the dark. we will then throw some taters and corn onto the plate, forcing all to attempt to share the gravy, when there clearly is not enough for an equal society. eventually turmoil will begin. There will be too many taters, and not enough corn. Others will view it as an ethnic plunder, noting there is no Green Bean Casserole representation at all. We will continue however to consume as much as we can from this newly formed regime, until we are bloated and happy with ourselves, causing others who did not consume as much to become angered. Those that lost all to fall into more turmoil and distress, being cast away into the classification of a third shelf fridge nation. We will have bigger operations to pay attention to. Operation Ham Glaze will be coming soon, and the voters, while happy with the initial turkey trot invasion, have become weary of the constant "please, finish it all, get the job done". They are ready for a new conflict, and a new conflict is only 27 days away.

Low oil in exchange for high debt?

2008-10-06T17:02:00.004-04:00

As we all have been reading the news, watching TV, and pulling our hair out over our countries attrocious behavior when it comes to managing money, I found one great positive. Lower Gas Prices.

Now, I myself am really confused. If the economy is crumbling. Mortgage giants are failing. Hobo's are being churned out faster than china makes cheap products, how come the price of Oil is coming down?

Did the demand decrease? no
Did our independece from oil increase? no
Are we winning really well in some war? No

So why did these prices all come down?

Ahh yes, loophole trading has stopped! Those giant companies that once would speculate on the market to make billions in profits, allowing shell, BP, and chevron to raise prices so they can keep up with the luxurious lifestyles of the loophole traders.

Well now the loophole traders are bankrupt. They ran out of speculated money to spend. Of course they still have millions of profit squirreled away in the caymans, luxury cars, and multi-million dollar homes, but they need the taxpayer help. Yep, thats right. Instead of making those who made the problem pay, we are going to pay for them. Now wouldn't that be great if we could do that with our loans and mortgages? I mean, how awesome would it be to say "ohh, sorry wells fargo, I took out this loan, knowing it was a risk, and I probably couldn't pay it back, so here, go raise corporate taxes to pay for it.

Darn, Sadly that isn't happening. It makes me pretty depressed too. I was almost certain that these companies would be forced to bail themselves out. Fix their mistakes. Pay for their illegal actions! Darn! I was wrong. Sadly as soon as we fix this credit crisis, those companies start making massive profits again, they can start speculating more, and the oil companies can raise prices more, and all those hobo-americans can sit there, and suffer. As usual. Lets fuck the working class.

I think Dilbert, in his infinite wisdom and ability to see the Future summed it up the best in 2002 with this comic.

Original found at http://www.dilbert.com/fast/2002-07-24/

Thanks to www.dilbert.com/fast for providing the image. Copyright Scott Adams.

Phrase Evolution

2008-09-21T19:53:00.000-04:00

College is a mixing pot of people. You have all ages, races, genders, and usually a good distribution of wealth from their parents. You have the poor kids and the rich kids, all living and studying together. And of course, the biggest problem anyone has with anyone on a college campus, Not the color of their skin, or the way they dress, but if you call it Soda, or Pop. (Btw, it is Soda, Pop is a name for your grandpa, the guy on the rice krispies box, and what happens to a balloon, or the American economy when there is a prick.)

Some kids end up changing their mannerisms to fit their grouping of friends. They then go back home, say Soda, and the lynch mob comes after them. Besides the soda pop scandal, I have noted a different kind of phrase evolution. The adoption of phrases for description.
Recently one of our brothers began saying "thats diesel" and "Look at that diesel blunt". Well now the word "diesel" is a common adjective in the Row house. I myself have gotten a few followers with my saying of "Fuck that game", although I believe I may have picked it up from Shakedown. I am unsure, one of us picked it up from the other.

I find "Fuck that game" to be a great thing to say when you don't want to do something. Fuck that game comes in handy all over the college campus. When someone steals my seat and the only cushion left is the piss cushion, I say "fuck that game" and throw someone out of a chair.

I thought about doing more homework, Fuck that game.

Alfred Squares goes off great

2008-09-14T21:05:00.000-04:00

Over the summer I met with school officials, as well as my Greek Senate Exec board a few times to discuss events to do this semester. One of the things I came up with was called "Alfred Squares" a knock off of Hollywood squares. We put professors and staff in the squares, and had sororities vs fraternities.

Well let me tell you, the game went off hysterically! For the first try, and being at the rain location, it worked out pretty amazingly. Tons of questions were answered with hysterical remarks, and the crowd went wild. We played a total of 7 matches, which resulted in the sororities winning 4/7. Sadly we couldn't win, even with some easy choices.

I am pretty proud of everyone to get this event off so well, I was happy, and I think the administration and faculty enjoyed it too. If it had been outside I bet it would have been 10x's better, with a bigger showing, but we tried, and still had a great time. Now that everything is already built for it, Hopefully we can do it each year. I know the competitors were having a blast, so hopefully next year we get a more fierce competition to be a square member.

Beer Beer the magical fruit

2008-09-07T17:40:00.003-04:00

People often are heard singing that interesting song
Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So let's eat beans for every meal!

Although I prefer this version myself

Beans, beans, good for your heart,
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the more you eat,
The more you sit on the toilet seat!

Anyways, I came to the realization that, while beans may make you gassy, Beer, and in large quantities, can accomplish the same thing. As a college student I often experience the joy of alcohol, and it usually comes in carbonated can form. And living with 5 other Fraternity guys, we all obviously have a good time. Well, it turns out that sometimes it becomes unbearable.
Anyone living on a college campus already knows, if you eat the food, you will get gas. Combine that with beer and your in for one hell of a raunchy undies-staining surprise. So in commemoration of the effects that beer has on your colon, I decided to write my own little version

Beer beer the magical drink
the more you sip the more you stink
The more you stink, the faster you pound
So let one rip and buy the next round!

Boy, being an alchy sure is fun.

Quote of the Day

2008-09-01T20:14:00.000-04:00

A bit tired today from a long and amazing weekend, so today will merely be a quote.

I am a student Employee at Friendlys, so I often get dumb questions
Me: Hello sir, what can I get you today
Customer: Hmm, I'm not sure, What count as meals?
Me: Anything listed as "Meal deals". The soups are listed here (points to sign) and I am sorry but we do not have a #6
Customer: Ok, can I get chicken tenders and fries
Me: Off of Dining dollars, or CSA?
Customer: as a meal
Me: No, we only have those options for meals.
Customer: well that's dumb, Let me have an order of Cheese sticks
Me: your aware that's not a meal right?
Customer: Why not?
Me: ugh, ok look. This panel here are the ONLY THINGS you can order as a meal. NOTHING ELSE CAN BE A MEAL
Customer: Ohh, well I will have a #6 then
Me: I'm sorry, are you going to college? there is a huge sign eye level that says NO # 6, and I already told you that
Customer: But you said that anything listed up there was a meal
Me: Im going to go in the back, you can wait for someone that deals with morons to come help you

I proceeded to go back to the kitchen and stand around not doing any work for 6 minutes as another person attempted to help the customer. He eventually got a Cheesburger meal, complained how the service sucked, and left.

I fucking HATE people

Student Workers: can you get any dumber?

2008-08-28T23:00:00.000-04:00

For 3 and a half years I have worked on campus at a fast food version of Friendlys. We do cheeseburgers, hot dogs, a few wraps, and French fries and shit. Basic mcdonalds menu right? Working there is a piece of cake. After 15 minutes of training I learned how to do everything. 99% of it is common sense anyways. Deep fry the Fries, until they are golden brown. Cook the hamburger till it is not pink. etc. Easy easy things.

Well aparently having common sense, or possessing basic reasoning skills is NOT always associated with college students. I find this pretty hard to believe. You may be going to become a nurse, a architect, or a computer technician, yet you can't deep fry French fries? You can't ladle soup into a cup? If you perform this bad at simple tasks, it just makes me think that you would be the worst nurse/architect/computer tech ever. Honestly! How dumb can you be?

Luckily out of the dozen or so people I work with, 90% are either return students, or freshman that caught on quick.But there is still that lazy asshole that doesn't know how to do shit. Some days I just want to strangle them and deep fry their face. I understand if the kitchen is REALLY busy, and there is only 1 person there doing tons of orders, if you mess stuff up, or burn some fries. That doesn't happen! there are like 5 people in a kitchen that only needs 2-3, there are NO customers half the time, and you STILL burn them. FUCK!

Thank god with Mcdonalds fries they actually are self measuring, and cooking. You just push a button. If the kid fucks that up, he should just eat a bottle of aspirin.

The Text Book Scam: How publishers/colleges shake your pockets.

2008-08-25T10:26:00.001-04:00

Anyone who has attended a college in the last few years has learned 3 basic things.
1- Your going to shit your brains out, or be unable to shit for weeks, due to campus food.
2- the toilet paper will most likely cut your ass, more than wiping with a pine cone.
3- Books at the campus store, and in general, are a rip off.

No way! Colleges and publishers, with the goal of educating the youth, would not needlessly be trying to gouge profits out of already struggling college students. That would be irresponsible! Yet, that is the cold hard truth. Each year it is estimated that American students spend $900 on books a year! That is in addition to the already outrageous price for education.
But why is it $900! Aren't there used books? While there are occasionally a few, there are 2 major problems with the used book system. 1, the bookstore that buys back used books, regardless of the flawless condition, rarely pays out 1/2 the original cost of the book. That makes it almost worthless to return, since you may at some point need it in the future. The 2nd is the fact that every few years there is a new edition that each professor wants to use, making the old editions aparently obsolete.

Wait a minute. How does that make any sense! A new edition of a book is generally the re-organization of the book to make it easier to understand, as well as correcting the countless grammatical, technical, and factual errors that were originally included. Thats strange, almost anything else you buy that is defective, you get a FULL REFUND for. If you bought a car that had incorrect fuel readings, and displayed the wrong speeds would be fixed at no cost to the consumer. However with Books, you are paying for the mistakes. In stead of being able to use your roomates book from last semester, with those dozen mistakes, and some awkward arrangement of details, you have to spend anywhere from $100-$200, for a simple book!
Currently I am taking Legal Environment in Business. The new book costs $197 online ($225 at the book store aparently). The old book (last years edition, in almost perfect condition) $47, with shipping and handling. How is that remotely fair, or legal!

I can understand the need to update books occasionally. After 5-10 years, facts and information may change. They need to be updated. However being updated in 01, 03, 05, 07 and 08? It seems a bit much don't you think?

So I said fuck the system. I explained to my professor that I would purchase the old copy, and just deal with the errors, and the sometimes strange organization. Sure, this will mean that all my homework assignments will have 1-2 questions from the wrong chapter, and be missing 1-2. But thats ok. If I get all the rest right I would still get a 90, which is an A.

So fuck the book business.

Quote of the Day

2008-08-24T15:07:00.000-04:00

All one of you that actively have read my previous blogs and information would know I often do a "quote of the day" when something witty and amazing occurs, and I am present. Well of course, another amazing thing recently happened.

Were sitting in Gojo's room playing some euchre, and we had been making fun of him ALLL night. He is a big bear looking dude, so we always make odd comments and shit, about him being a bear.

Well I move my chair some so I can put my beer in a better spot and i tip over his work boots. They stunk like ass. so I was like "dude, did you shit in your boots?"

Napoleon, with out even pausing is like "he probably shits in them because it's a lot closer than walking to the woods." I just burst out laughing, uncontrollably.

And then it got better. In several Waldo books there is the evil waldo called "odlaw" he wears yellow and black stripes, and he has a moustache. Well were driving to the store to get more beer and we see this asian guy wearing the get up, with a little moustache. With out hesitating napoleon again is like. Hey rook, its odraw! Raugh out Roud funny!

Man is he just fucking hysterical.

Hi Mike!

2008-08-22T09:37:00.003-04:00

Moving back to college, I get the opportunity to meet tons of new people. Precisely 1,000 that have never actually been to Alfred. With a name like Waldo, you would think I would go unnoticed a lot. Nope, Wrong. Every single person I meet, even if its just for 1 minute, Knows my name. And then I have to remember theirs.

The first day my fraternity came out early and helped freshmen move into the dorms. We would carry anything from the mini-fridge, to the 10 bags of shoes up the stairs. Of course I try to get to know everyone. Well 2 hours and 8 mikes into it, I just gave up. How many Mike's can there be. I already know at least 10 that go/went to this school, and now I just met a bunch more. Not to mention I haven't met that many of them yet! I began to wonder. "Is this some sort of "Mike" phenomenon. Did an unproportionate number of mike's just apply to this school, and all the Dave's applied to another?" And then I began to think about it.

Our society is pretty conformist. We either stick with the same old same old, or come up with something totally off the wall that is just nuts. There is no middle ground. Your kid is either named Mike, Dave, Amanda, or they are named, Lateala, Apple, and Dashielle. But I guess it's not a new trend. Working at the nursing home for so long I met probably 140 residents total. Well I bet at least 25 were Ruth's. another 20 were Annes, and then a dozen or so named marion. then you had the out there names. Beatrice, Gertrude, Loraine, Rudy.

Just seems strange. Why are we either so alike, or so unique. Never really in the middle. Or is it that everyone in the middle just blends in so well. Sort of like I should in a crowd.

The fight for the right: To drink

2008-08-20T14:16:00.000-04:00

Most people think I shouldn't care about the drinking age. I'm 21 now, there is no need for me to have to try to get friends to buy me booze. Or use a fake ID. Yet why do I?

American society is derived from several different points. Faith, heritage, geographic location and many others all bring different aspects into our society, and lead us to all be “Americans”. Even our legislation decides the fate of our society. One in particular part that affects our society is the drinking age. Raising the drinking age from 18 to 21 has damaged our society and American culture as a whole.

On July 17th 1984, the United States passed the National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984. The act provided that, if a state does not raise the legal drinking age from 18 to 21, they will 10% of their national highway funding. As the funding is a necessity for states, every single state accepted the act, and has since raised their drinking age to 21. While some states, such as New York and South Dakota have challenged the act, none have been able to overcome congress’s pursuit to keep the drinking age at 21 years of age. The government has decided that 18 was too low to allow individuals to drink, citing several issues such as the operation of vehicles at the same age, and health risks associated with alcohol and the developing human body.

It is commonly accepted that drinking and driving do not go well together. Every state, as well as most countries have explicit laws as to the consumption of alcohol and then operating vehicles. The United States Government has gone as far as requiring alcoholic beverages to contain a surgeon generals warning, that warns of the dangers of alcohol, and that you should not operate heavy machinery, or drink while pregnant. Individuals cited statistics showing that in states that had previously raised their age to 21, car crashes caused by intoxicated individuals between the ages of 18 and 21 decreased dramatically. These statistics were used to show that states that had begun to raise the drinking age, were able to save more lives, and stop many injuries of individuals on the nation’s roadways.

Also as of the age of 18, individuals become legal adults and are granted other abilities, such as the ability to marry. With marriage it is custom to also start procreation. Thousands of studies have proven the negative effects of drinking while pregnant. Fetal alcohol syndrome has risen as one of the most horrific forms of child abuse this country has ever encountered. Each year thousands of children are born impaired due to a mother consuming alcohol. In 1973 Fetal Alcohol syndrome was recognized as a syndrome. All of these reasons lead the government to pass the national minimum drinking age act.

No one disputes that increasing the age to 21 has decreased fatalities in the United States. However the raising of the national drinking age is with out a doubt one of the largest constitutional infringements this government has ever imposed on the people. The government continually sourced statistics and information about the number of fatalities raising the age to 21 has supposedly prevented. Nineteen. Nineteen is the average age of soldiers killed in Vietnam. While no statistics have been provided by our government as of yet as to how many of the 4083 deaths in Iraq have been by individuals under the age of 21, browsing through the list of casualties provided by the government, you can easily see that at least a fifth of the individuals killed, could not legally consume alcohol. How can a country tell its people that they cannot consume alcohol, because it is harmful and could lead to their death, yet send the same people to die in a desert, or in a jungle? But wait, drinking and driving may have other victims! Innocent individuals may also lose their life because someone was impaired by alcohol. That argument would work for the 84,099 confirmed killed civilians in Iraq. How can our government cite statistics about the decrease in deaths since the drinking age has been lowered, and support it, because it saves those 18-20 year olds lives, as well as other civilians, yet support a war that has killed thousands of Americans, wounded even more, and murdered thousands of Iraqi civilians, while wounding possibly hundreds of thousands. How can you patriotically serve your country, when they won’t offer you the same freedoms, just because you are of a different age? Why is the age 18 to join the military? Because 18 is when you become a legal adult in the United States. A legal adult to make your own decisions, get married, obtain a credit card, buy cigarettes and lotto tickets. Purchase pornography. You can do almost anything at the age of 18, except drink legally. At a U.S. Senate hearing last fall the deputy transportation secretary Thomas Barrett who has retired from the coast guard said, "I hear this bandied about that if you are old enough to fight for your country, you are old enough to have a beer. … I don't think it's the same type of maturity." Being given a gun, to shoot people and possibly get shot yourself, definitely requires less maturity than consuming alcohol. It’s only another humans life right?
The other argument provided for raising the drinking age, is the risk to pregnant women and their unborn children. While fetal Alcohol syndrome is a horrific tragedy, raising the age that you can purchase alcohol does nothing to prevent it. Passing a law preventing pregnant women from drinking would work at preventing this tragedy, but the government does not. They merely warn women that it may be dangerous, and AFTER they have given birth to a child with FAS, THEN they step in. Yet in the concern for fetus’s everywhere, the government has still not raised the age to purchase tobacco products, or passed any law to ban would-be mothers from smoking. Tobacco smoke has been proven dangerous to fetuses, and yet the government refuses to pass the same legislation as they did with drinking. Why? One can only speculate that Phillip Morris has deeper pockets than Anheuser-Busch. What about all of the women over 21 that have babies? According to the CDC not a single state has an average lower than 23 years of age, with most falling at 24 or greater.

So how does this put American society? We are already behind most of the developed world in education and health care . Why are we dropping ourselves into the ring of nations that bar human rights? Our political actions are often despised by other countries. We are seen as the bully of the world, but why? It’s due to our society. We are given these ridiculous restrictions and rules, to protect ourselves from ourselves. We are forced to abide by them under an iron fist of a government. The government continually destroys our ability to think for ourselves, to make our own decisions, and to responsible for our own actions. They are merely using the same techniques Hitler, Lenin, and Pol-Pot used, to brain wash people into becoming mindless drones that must always ask permission, must get the rights through the government. It may not seem much now, but as we become more and more dependant on our government, they have more and more control over what we do as a society. No developed country likes America, because we are not run by the people, as we often proclaim. We have allowed the government to take away our own rights in promise of saving a few lives. We can’t choose for ourselves, we can’t operate on our own anymore. It makes us all rely on the government, on their decisions, so we don’t have to make them ourselves. It has destroyed our once great society. We may be first world with technology and money, but we are third world when it comes to thinking for ourselves.

http://epw.senate.gov/title23.pdf
www.thecommunityguide.org/mvoi/mvoi-table-alc-legal-age.pdf
Jones, K.L., Smith, D.W, Ulleland, C.N., Streissguth, A.P. (1973). Pattern of malformation in offspring of chronic alcoholic mothers. Lancet, 1, 1267-1271.

http://icasualties.org/oif/USDeaths.aspx
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-03-20-drinkingage_N.htm
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwR/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5419a5.htm
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/12/04/AR2007120400730.html
http://www.ihealthbeat.org/articles/2007/5/17/US-Ranks-Last-in-Health-Care-Performance-IT-Adoption.aspx?topicID=54

Lightning : and why it rocks

2008-08-18T23:33:00.002-04:00

I had never really been a fan of strange weather. I always of course thought that twisters, hurricanes, and golf ball size hail was sweet. Thats just the destructive leprechaun that lives somewhere in my head. Regardless, I only recently became aware of my fascination with storms. Sure, it was cool when there was that loud BOOM and the whole house shook, but it was quickly undercut by the fact my computer would turn off, and I would be with out power /internet for 1-20 hours. That part bothered me.

Now I sort of take it as a "blessing" of sorts. It's a great time to relax, watch crazy wild light patterns through the sky, and think that somewhere, somebodies house just burst into flames. Of course, this is a bit morbid, but think of this. According to Livescience.com the odds of dieing in a lightning strike are 1-83,930 So, of all of the 6.8 billion people roughly 81,000 of them will die from a lightning strike. Thats really, really really low. I have a 693x's higher chance of killing myself intentionally, so meh.

Regardless of the impending death that each strike may potentially cause, they are just absolutely beautiful. Huge bolts of electricity slamming into the earth at the speed of light. Providing awe and inspiration to all of us on this earth (besides the pussies afraid of them).

Now, unlike the common thought that "lightning only strikes a place 1 time", It definitely doesn't. Look at any tall building. They are nailed hundreds of times a year, if not more. Whoever said that, hopefully believed it, and stood atop the empire state building to prove it. Justice is a dish best served cold. Or burning at several thousand degrees Fahrenheit with a bright flash that instantly blinds you, and a deafening roar that can shatter windows. Actually, I prefer the latter.

In saying this I think it is time to refill my beer glass and meander back outside to watch the kick ass storm that is reining current at my town. Natures fireworks are back, and as awesome as ever.

Packing for college- The Necessities

2008-08-18T16:21:00.000-04:00

Seeing as tomorrow is my departure date for that Suny little town of Alfred, I figured I best get packing. I have a small 4 door Taurus, and a good deal of things to go in there, so I had to rate them all on a scale of 1-10. The only problem is, So many things receive a ten.

For instance. Clothes. Yes, as a guy I don't have many clothes. Seemingly 5 pairs of pants, a dozen t's and 1-2 hoodies is enough. Well sadly I refuse to throw clothes away, so I have a larger collection with almost 30 shirts. half of which are free volunteer/blood donor shirts that have since become Tie-Dye. Not only that, but I now face the reality of having to serve on several important boards and committees, meaning I have to dress as if I had some sophistication. So saying that, Clothing got a 10. I need it, and need it bad.

As I glance around the rest of my room I notice all my documents. Old tax returns, pay stubs, HS diploma, awards, letters of recommendation etc. Well I certainly have to take these things. What happens if I end up needing to apply for jobs, since it is my last semester at college. So that box received a 10.

Liquor cabinet. Now, I am a cheap-o, so I don't have a cabinet per say, Just 2 boxes from the liquor store that once held 12 bottles of wine each, that now hold between 8 and 10 bottles of assorted liquor and mixers each. That of course is a definite yes. Who goes to college with out an adequate supply of alcohol. 10

And again, in my search to be cheap AND consume alcohol, I brought it upon myself to purchase a few 30 racks from the local distributor. Seeing as here I can pay $13.99 TOTAl (including tax and deposit) where as at school is roughly $18 with tax and deposit, I stocked up. Yes, my car is sagging a bit to the rear, but I think it can hold up. Who can go to college with out beer?! 10

Next my computer. What purpose would I serve as an Network Administrator, much less blogger/gamer/poet/comic artist/email junk, if I did not have this piece of equipment. 10

Mini fridge. What good is the beer if it is warm? 10

Lastly, my assorted box of crap. Every guy has one of these. It contains all of those little necessities guys often need, especially college guys. First- Condoms. College is a dirty dirty place, so if your going to go exploring, be prepared. next, Band aids. No matter how careful you and your friends are, at some point or another your partying in the woods/strange apartments will lead to more than enough bloody endings. Flights of stairs, Hidden shrubbery, and of course that amazing sport of Bush diving, which I will explain in a later post. All of these need to be tended to, and while drunk, Band aids are a cure all. Speaking of sticky solvers of problems, Possibly the most use full thing a male college student can have. Duct Tape. This is where males and females completely stand out. A female will go out of their way to try to fix something AND make it nice looking. Males? Slap on some duct tape. That doesn't work? add in some crazy glue (often found leaking, attached to the duct tape through an impossibly snug bond). and the last few things this box contains, Toothpaste, soap, a wash cloth, your pit stick, and a leather man (if there isn't one already attached to your belt)
So I look around and don't see much else. Posters -5, lamp -5 (the glow of my LCD is sufficient enough) notebooks-5.. who takes notes?

Surprisingly enough, even with all of this junk I still have a large amount of room remaining in my car. Which makes me wonder. How come every year, while assisting with the move in of the freshman, I just shake my head as I watch at least a dozen U-hauls roll up to the different dorms, followed by a minivan or SUV with a daughter already on their cell phone, complaining of the town, or lack there of starbucks. I just sigh as I wander over and offer my assistance to help them carry some things to their room. Of course the father and I do a majority of the work (as well as other volunteers) and that first door entrance is priceless. The daughter spends 2 minutes with their new key they just got fumbling to get the door open, to reveal not much more than a closet, with bunk beds, 2 dressers, 2 desks, and little closets.

I just love watching the fathers Jaw drop, as he realizes he no longer will be able to drop the U-haul off down the road, but will have to drive it at his own gas guzzling expense, all the way back home with at least 3/4 of the packed materials.

At least there is some justice in the world.

The Addiction of Stumbling

2008-08-17T20:51:00.002-04:00

It isn't often that I become addicted to things. I have a pretty addictive personality, so I end up attempting to steer clear of things that could potentially screw me. I don't smoke, I don't do any sort of Coffee or energy drink caffeine crap. I do drink, and drink hard occasionally, but thats cool right?
Now I have come across a new addiction. For years I have been what you could call "Obsessed" with the computer. I am online all of the time doing everything in the world. Constant communication with friends, family and strangers. The news at my fingertips, and of course, hysterical things like

Cyanide and Happiness

That being said, I began to notice I was growing bored while on the computer. I had nothing to really do. I had read all the "good" sites. I have seen all the funny pictures and movies, and I have played all those little 2d games. I was almost afraid I would have to re-enter the world of reality when it hit me. Stumbling.

For those of you not familiar with stumbling, it's a wonderful concept developed as a Firefox add in. Basically you fill out a short check box survey of things you like, and each time you click "Stumble!" it takes you to a site that other users that enjoy the same things thought was cool. Well after about 5 hours of this I realized I had almost wet myself, and was horribly dehydrated. I had just seen so many funny video clips, pictures, and learned a ton about new technology. I didn't think it could get much better, yet it still continues. Stumble afters Stumble leads me to another crazy thing I never saw on the internet.

Now of course, it is always bad to be addicted to something, but whats worse is when you addict OTHERS to it, knowing just how bad it is. It's the same thing with anything else. One person starts smoking, and slowly they con everyone around them to come out and smoke with them, and before long everyone is pissed they smoke, but can't stop. Well I have successfully gotten about 3 people addicted to stumbling, and I almost feel bad about it. It's wonderful at first, but such a major distraction. Actually, while typing this I took two breaks to stumble, and I came across some unusually interesting pictures of funny t-shirt slogans.

So I warn anyone that reads this. Beware of Stumbleupon. It may one day just take your life.

Trying it out

2008-08-15T14:58:00.000-04:00

So I have grown tired of just ranting in a blog on Facebook, or Deadjournal, or wherever the hell my blog/rants disapeared to. So I decided why put up with that crap. Facebook has the feature where I can RSS all of these posts in to facebook, and not lift a finger. It allows everyone I know to read whatever I publish. Fantastic!

The downside? It isn't as fun to reach out to such a small community. Especially when it only works for people that download the application and crap. It isn't worth it. So I decided "Why not let everyone read it". Sure, I bet there will be thousands of folks that have done the same thing, and don't get any reads. There are those that cope and just say "well, It just feels good knowing its out there IN CASE someone wanted to read".

Thats a bit Emo for me. I figure I will post for me, so I can look back in a few years and either say "wow, I was brilliant" or, call myself a douche bag.

So with this being said, I will start "blogging".